As hard as it may be to believe there are some people in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia who have shoddier morals than the gang of Dee, Dennis, Frank, Charlie, and Mac, enter the McPoyles: An inbred, incestuous family that is plagued by acne, eczema, and of course, unibrows. Fraternal twins Liam (Jimmi Simpson) and Ryan (Nate Mooney) McPoyle are the most prominent, but there are quite literally dozens, if not hundreds, of other McPoyle characters who have been featured on the show.
Throughout the series, the McPoyles seem to show up at the most inopportune (or opportune?) moments for the gang, ruining their day, lives, and relationships. As the series progresses, we’re given a closer look at this peculiar, shuddersome family. Every time they’re on screen, they creep you out. From their deaf-mute sister Margaret to their aspiring football player brother Doyle to the countless, nameless, clammy McPoyle relatives who show up en masse to various events where the gang is present. So of course, we’ve compiled a list of the creepiest McPoyle moments in the history of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. So put on your bathrobe, grab a jug of milk for refreshment, and let’s get started.
The McPoyles Frame A Guy For Sexual Assault
We are first introduced to the McPoyle brothers in season one when the gang’s former gym teacher is accused of molestation by the McPoyle brothers. Charlie, however, knows it’s a scam and an attempt to get money out of the accused.
This episode is paramount, not only because it introduced the brothers in a magnificent scene where Charlie goes to their house right after they’ve showered — together — but because it forever marks Charlie and the rest of the gang as their eternal enemy when Charlie rats out the McPoyles to the cops for their scheming ways. Pretty funny, considering that actor Jimmi Simpson (who plays Liam) and Charlie Day (who plays Charlie Kelly) actually used to be roommates back when they were trying to get their start.
Frank Shoots Doyle McPoyle In The Leg
Frank really loves guns. He always has at least one or two on him at all times. Even when he’s tripping on LSD while tailgating at Philadelphia Eagles tryouts — you know, for regular people, like in the movie Invincible.
Naturally, the entire McPoyle family is out supporting their brother, Doyle McPoyle, who has just beat out Dee, Mac, and Dennis for a chance to attend Eagles camp. That’s when good ol’ violent, drug-addled Frank straight-up shoots Doyle in the leg, much to the dismay of the entire McPoyle family.
The McPoyles Really, Really Love Each Other
In case you thought that the McPoyle family’s incestuous ways were only heavily implied, well au contraire, my friend! The McPoyle brothers show up to the bar and ask for a drink. Reasonable to ask for a drink at a bar, right? What if that drink is milk? The rest of the gang is repulsed by their request for milk, but they aren’t prepared for what happens next. It’s straight out of a George R. R. Martin novel as Ryan gets to second base with his deaf-mute sister, Margaret. Who said romance was dead?
The McPoyles Hold The Gang Hostage
Stockholm syndrome is what happens when you eventually come to side with your kidnappers in a hostage situation. That’s what happens to Dee when the McPoyles hold the gang hostage inside their own bar. Until this episode, the McPoyles never really tried to “get even” with the gang for their previously mentioned slights, but this is when the tide started to turn.
This episode is a psychological thriller as alliances are questioned, Dennis seduces Margaret McPoyle, and Dee defects to the other side. Oh, and the McPoyles were holding them up with guns made out of RUBBER the whole time. If you’re wondering why Dee didn’t seem to notice that when she grabbed a hold of the gun, maybe it’s because of the “sensual” tongue bath she’s getting from Liam. Yum.
Mac Bangs Margaret McPoyle
Only the most extreme of reasons could send Mac, Frank, Dennis, and Charlie into the arms of the forever eerie McPoyles. And that extreme reason is that they’re trying to find out who the father of Dee’s baby is. The only hint she has given them is that “one of you is the father.” This goes back to their Halloween party from a few months ago.
In their effort to uncover the mystery, they seek out the help of the milk-drinking stone-cold sober McPoyles to offer a firm memory of what they recall about that night. When Charlie and Dennis convince themselves that Mac is the father, Mac must confess that it was not Dee he was banging, but instead Margaret McPoyle, who he never called afterward.
The McPoyles Are Gonna Stab Someone
Another great moment from the episode where the McPoyles hold the gang hostage is when they start to get violent. They don’t want their hostages to get too comfortable, after all. So they decide: They’re going to stab someone. And Ryan takes that command very seriously, as he stabs Liam in the arm.
The McPoyles Intend To Spread Their Bloodline
The McPoyles claim their blood has been kept “pure” for thousands of years. The inbreeding in their family is evident by their mannerisms and physical characteristics. But in the most McPoyle episode of them all, “The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre,” Liam McPoyle intends to marry Maureen Ponderosa, ruining the, ahem, family tradition. Ryan McPoyle feels angry and betrayed, but Dennis and Mac try to arrange a meeting between the two so that everything will go according to plan and there won’t be a hitch in the wedding — freeing Dennis from having to make alimony payments to his ex-wife. But when Dennis and Frank enter the reconciliation room, they find… Ryan begging Liam for forgiveness. “The McPoyles will take over the world!” Liam declares. What, did you think it was something else?
Introducing The Extended McPoyle Family
This other great shot from the McPoyle-Ponderosa wedding shows these beautiful blushing McPoyle bridesmaids quenching their thirst with some nice, cold milk. That was spiked with bath salts. That made them turn into flesh-eating zombies. Guillermo del Toro also makes a nearly unrecognizable cameo as “Pappy McPoyle.”
The McPoyles Won’t Let Dennis Or Mac Rent Movies
The gang pretty much hates holidays, mostly due to a parade of traumatic events that have occurred on them. So for Thanksgiving, all Dennis and Mac want to do is rent the extended version of Thunder Gun Express. But when they get there, they discover that the McPoyle brothers now own the video rental store, the only one still open in Philadelphia because they want to “invest in an emerging market.” One of the perks of controlling video rentals in the “City of Brotherly Love?” Refusing service to whoever you want, thus ruining Thanksgiving for the gang.
