John Oliver’s big meaty 15-minute segment this week was about translators in Afghanistan. It was enlightening and infuriating, as most of his in-depth pieces are, and you are welcome to continue discussing that with your friends and adversaries all you like on your own time, but for now I need you to shut up because he also reenacted Supreme Court cases with dogs and this sh*t right here is important.
Now, there is a legitimate reason for this. The Supreme Court famously bans cameras during oral arguments, choosing instead to release only a dry, incredibly dull audio recording. As Oliver points out, your average U.S. citizen would rather die a slow, painful death at a Mets game than listen to an hour of lawyers and justices poking and prodding at contentious legal questions, even if the answers they’re all seeking could result in substantial changes to the way our nation is governed. This is a problem. We need a way to get people more involved in the process. But how…
Yup, that’ll do it. Oliver and his staff rounded up a bunch of dogs (and a duck and a chicken, because let’s just crank this sucker to 11) and had them reenact the entire oral argument for a recent case. That’s Justice Ginsberg up there in the glasses. And Scalia is a bulldog, which is perfect. Hell, the whole thing is perfect. A+ and a sticker of a rocketship for everyone involved.
Below, please find the full hour-long reenactment. Our great American democracy was fixed by an Englishman and a pack of dogs. Just as the Founders intended.