The People v. O.J. Simpson, the new limited series about the O.J. Simpson trial from FX and Ryan Murphy, is set to premiere Feb. 2. We gave you our review of the first few episodes last week, the gist of which was, “It’s not bad and you have to watch John Travolta’s performance as Robert Shapiro,” but none of that matters now. None of it. Throw the whole thing in the trash. Because the New York Daily News gave Kato Kaelin a screener of the first episode and had him review it. And Kato is pissed off.
The tone is set early on with the sentence, “This review is based on episode 1, which contained the facts of the case — or so it should have,” and from there Kato takes issue with discrepancies related to a scene involving him and the limo driver, and a scene involving the infamous black glove. But his biggest problem with the episode, the most important bone he had to pick with the high-profile fictionalized depiction of his role in one of the most famous murder investigations in history, involved a hamburger.
In another scene, Billy Magnussen, who portrays me, is eating a hamburger and O.J. asked about his love for burgers, which hints to an alibi. In real life, I stopped eating red meat in 1983. Perhaps a small detail to some of you, but it makes me wonder if they can’t get the facts right, how much creative license will the series take on other parts of the story that can’t be corroborated.
“Ryan Murphy is wrong about hamburgers… what else is he wrong about?!”
Please, for the love of all that is holy, let Kato Kaelin recap every episode of this show. One thousand words at 9 a.m. the morning after each one. It’s all I ask.