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Ranking Malory Archer’s Most Devastating Insults


It’s no secret that Malory Archer (Jessica Walter) is a difficult, hyper-controlling boss that no one in their right mind would want as their mother. Of course, it’s no surprise that someone with these characteristics — along with a steady diet of alcohol and olives — can come up with some pretty soul-crushing jibes at the drop of a hat. For the past seven seasons on FX’s Archer, her scorn seems to know no bounds or mercy, as she’s proven time and again to be the champion of the hurtful remark. In honor of Malory Archer’s meticulously delivered insults, here’s a ranking of the eight meanest (so far).

7. “Oh, Pam’s just as full of crap as she is carbohydrates.”

Outside of her son, Archer (H. Jon Benjamin), the most regular recipient of Malory’s flagrant viciousness has to be Pam Poovey (Amber Nash), the plucky, secretly badass former HR Rep. Even Crenshaw (Shelly Desai), a Russian mole who had infiltrated ISIS in an effort to take them down, thought Malory should be nicer to Pam — which he reminds her of right when he takes her hostage. Malory may have escaped unharmed, but she never does heed any of Crenshaw’s advice. In fact, she only manages to get worse from there.

6. “ISIS isn’t your own personal travel agency. It doesn’t exist so you can jet off to Whore Island.”

Fed up with Sterlings reckless use of his ISIS expense account, she decides to address the issue head on by giving him a severe reprimand. Granted, because it’s Malory, she adds a little zinger at the end, accusing her son of galavanting off to some magic island filled with prostitutes; all on the company’s dime. While it’s a little tame as far as scathing insults go, there happens to be a little bit of truth to it. Turns out, just mentioning ‘Whore Island’ is enough to distract Sterling to the point that he stops paying attention altogether.

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