Dressing children up as adults for your commercial is cheating, basically. It’s too adorable. How could I possibly get upset at your company’s potentially shady and/or predatory business practices — in the moment, at least — when a child is pretending to do business things on my television? Look at him! In his little suit! He’s probably on his way to a meeting! HE’S HOLDING A BRIEFCASE It’s part of my bigger theory that all bad news should be delivered by two children piled up inside a trench coat. Comcast could announce significant rate hikes during the Super Bowl using this strategy and I wouldn’t even be that mad. I’d be mad, yes, but not that mad.
All of which brings us to the newest Nationwide Insurance commercial, “Toddlers,” and specifically to my new favorite person on television: the little dude who spikes his phone in anger at the 0:10 mark. I could watch this GIF forever.
- I like to pretend he’s a hot-headed tiny savant — like an even younger Doogie Howser — who is working at a fancy billion-dollar hedge fund, and whenever the market takes a turn for the worse he calls a fully-grown underling into his corner office and calls him a dootyhead for failing to predict it.
- What do you think happened on the other end of that call that set him off? My working theory is that someone just told him the construction of his giant, livable Bounce House mansion has been delayed yet again due to zoning issues. Or that the 4:30 showing of Paddington is sold out. One or the other.
Point being: I love this guy. I vote we give him a TV show.