SNL has brought us three very different ads for Totino’s pizza rolls to celebrate the Super Bowl. The first highlighted the women we see trapped inside these ads, cooking for “their boys” during the big game, while the second took a sharp, dark turn away from that idea to become a stealth ad for The X-Files revival series. For 2017, another twist is tossed into the Totino’s mix to give us yet another view on the tasty pizza treat that keeps America running.
When Kristen Stewart shows up as Ted’s sister, it might seem like we’re getting some fresh hands to make Totino’s in the kitchen. The reality is we’re getting a whole lot more. The entire thing morphs into a sultry foreign romance featuring Totinos, at least it does for those not watching the game. It’s basically every crappy porn brought to life and given a classy coat of paint, with the only thing missing being some dirtball with a pizza.
These fake ads do wonders for Totino’s pizza rolls, though. I’m not sure they ever cross my mind when they’re not the butt of a joke on SNL. Either that says a lot about my own mental health and outlook on life or it tells me that Totino’s isn’t taking this thing seriously. Embrace the weird and sell yourself past the thing that parents toss in the microwave for their kids when they get home from school.