Who is your favorite member of the Black Eyed Peas? My favorite member, probably, is William Peas. It looks like everyone on the Internet put aside their differences and shook hands in agreement over Super Bowl XLV’s Black Eyed Peas Plus Tron Plus Slash Minus A Christian God halftime spectacular was one of the most hilariously awful excuses for performance art at a football game since Lawrence Taylor made pop sculpture out of Joe Theismann’s leg.
Normally I tune in for the Puppy Bowl’s kitten halftime show because I don’t really care about Tom Petty or Janet Jackson’s nipple shuriken or whatever, but this year I sat transfixed, staring at Fergie’s meth-manipulated face as she repeatedly punched the air as she hit about four of the fifteen available melodic minor scales. Was this really happening? How did I get here? This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife.
It was an especially bad night for Mike Tomlin, who is both the coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers and the lead singer for the Black Eyed Peas. Next year, let’s just go with Dethklok and call it a night.
I’ve included a few videos of The Event in case you missed it, although they’re all just people filming their televisions and might be that COME ON BRADY POWN THEM kid, so I apologize for the terrible quality or for them being taken down before you watch them.