Steven Seagal Is: BACK FOR JUSTICE

Hey everybody! Remember when the Louisiana sheriffs kicked out A&E’s production crew for “Steven Seagal: Lawman” because Seagal allegedly kept sex slaves? Remember Seagal’s mysterious “unique physiological reaction” to sexual arousal? Well, prepare your Steven-Seagal-invented-everything memes, because “Lawman” will return with Seagal on duty in Arizona’s Maricopa County with notorious hardass Joe Arpaio.

Deputy Seagal has now landed a new beat: Phoenix, Ariz., where controversial Sheriff Joe Arpaio has welcomed the actor to resume shooting. As a result, A&E has greenlit a third season of Steven Seagal Lawman, with Seagal going on patrol in Maricopa County.

“I have a lot of friends in the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, so when Sheriff Joe Arpaio invited me to join them, there wasn’t a moment’s hesitation,” Seagal said. “Certain crimes in Arizona are on the rise and now that I live there, I want to help the sheriff fight it the best way I know how. It’s an honor to serve.” [Inside TV]

In case you’re not familiar with Arpaio, he’s the 78-year-old sheriff who introduced tent cities and pink underwear to Arizona jails, among countless other controversial measures. Instead of taking Viagra, he gets his dick hard by thinking about deporting illegal immigrants. Just wait ’til Seagal teaches Arpaio how to front-kick them over the border.

(If nothing here makes sense, go listen to the FilmDrunk Frotcast.)

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