Thanks, Captain Obvious

We all know that Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock with fellow Nazi tattoo enthusiast Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, a revelation that came just days after Bullock tearfully thanked her husband in her Oscar acceptance speech. James is now affianced to fellow reality star Kat Von D, and during an appearance on Howard Stern’s radio show, he revealed shocking information about the sexual proclivities of his amours.

If anybody can get celebs comfortable talking about what goes on behind closed doors, it’s Stern. James told the magician of information that sex with Von D is ‘100 percent’ better than that with Bullock. [Popwatch]

Whoa whoa whoa. That’s crazy talk. You mean the chick with the face and neck tattoos is more uninhibited than the vanilla actress admired by Middle America? The woman who’s addicted to getting needles jabbed into her skin is more sexually adventurous than Miss Congeniality? Why, my heart can hardly handle such ground-breaking and unexpected news. I shall now close my laptop computing device and fan myself, lest Mr. James devastate me with news that Snooki is perhaps less intellectually inclined than Ira Glass.