A brief list of characters we’ve met this season on FX’s American Horror Story: Asylum: aliens, Nazis, nuns possessed by the Devil, murder Santas, axe-wielding psychos, racists, horny nuns, chronic masturbators, serial killers with mommy issues (so, serial killers), Adam Levine’s mutilated corpse, and, of course, good ol’ Pepper. It’s been a great season of television (yeah, it feels weird saying that about a Ryan Murphy show), equal parts ridiculous and brilliant, but alas, it comes to an end tomorrow, with the fittingly titled season finale, “Madness Ends.”
Today, however, we look back at some of the craziest, f*cked up scenes from the season. Vaguely NSFW, if your work doesn’t approve of GIFs of Chloë Sevigny’s body covered with boils and rashes. Miss you already, AHS.
#10. We’ll start the list slowly, with a patient claiming to be Anne Frank admitted into Briarcliff.
This was a normal plot development compared to what’s to come. Even with the lobotomy.
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#9. The only thing better than the term “murder baby” is…
…”mossy bank.”
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#8. Grace’s history with axes…
…and coming back from the dead, resurrected by aliens with a baby in her belly.
#7. The fact that someone made this GIF (click here for the reasons why)
OK, that’s not #7. This is: Nazi doctor Dr. Arden temporarily killing Kit Walker…
…so aliens will come and reclaim and heal his body, or something.
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#6. Chloë Sevigny’s nymphomaniac Shelley going from this…
…to this, courtesy of Dr. Adren’s experiments.
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#5. I’ve talked a lot about Dr. Arden because it’s the lovable farmer from Babe playing — and this can’t be said enough — a Nazi doctor who conducts secret medical procedures on his unwilling patients. Anyway, he’s in love with Sister Mary Eunice, who I’ll talk about more soon, but when the good girl goes bad and dies, Arden doesn’t think he can live in this world anymore, so while she’s being led into his incinerator, he hops on, too.
In GIF form, that looks kind of fun.
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#4. Ian McShane as: MURDER SANTA.
Ian McShane returns in: MURDER SANTA EATING SOME GUY’S FACE
Ian McShane, never better than in: MURDER SANTA HAPPY PUN TIME
I also present to you my favorite still of the season:
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#3. OK, so, the aforementioned Sister Mary Eunice (played with sinful delight by Lily Rabe) is a nun who turns bad when the Devil takes possession of her body, and while under the control of Beelzebub, she rapes Monsignor Timothy Howard, thereby stripping him of his virginity, purity, and dignity.
She is later pushed off a balcony.
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#2. All things Bloody Face, from our introduction…
…to an arm chop…
…to when we found out who Bloody Face is…
…to Zachary Quinto’s creepy ass smile…
…to Zachary Quinto continuing to be creepy and an ass…
…to Lana flipping him off.
Dylan McDermott (new Bloody Face) also sucks the milk out of a prostitute’s breasts, but no one needs to see that.
#1. “The Name Game”
Nothing about this scene made a lick of scene, but it was pretty much the greatest thing ever. Therefore, it is American Horror Story: Asylum.
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