SEX. Now that I have your attention…It’s hard to go 24 hours without referencing The Simpsons at least once, even if you don’t realize you don’t realize you’re doing it. And it’s going to be damn near impossible once FXX’s Simpsons marathon begins and your life ends. “So I says to Mabel I says I can’t meet you, ‘Homer’s Barbershop Quartet’ is on in an hour.” To prepare for the upcoming quote-pocalypse, let’s look at some of the most referenced Simpsons quotes in everyday conversations. These are 20 I use all the time (I could have picked about 700 more, and I’m already furious at myself for not including “probably misses his old glasses”) — feel free to share your favorites, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys.
1. “I don’t know why; it’s a perfectly cromulent word.”
Everyday use: “Calling LeBron the best basketball player alive is a perfectly cromulent argument.”
2. “Just hook it to my veins!”
Everyday use: “I love Sriracha so much, can you just hook it to my veins?”
3. “I was saying ‘Boo-urns.'”
Everyday use: “All my idiot coworkers think Transformers 4 is a great movie, but when I told them I thought it was a piece of crap, it’s like I was saying boo-urns.”
4. “And here come the pretzels.”
Everyday use: “This riot is getting out of…and here come the pretzels.”
5. “Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.”
Everyday use: “You also think President Obamacare is a lizard-person? Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.”
6. “Won’t somebody please think of the children?!”
Everyday use: *looks at picture of Miley Cyrus* “Won’t somebody please think of the children?!”
7. “Like, y’know, whatever.”
Everyday use: for when you don’t want to show enthusiasm, because enthusiasm smacks of effort, man.
8. “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
Everyday use: just say it at any wedding, party, ice cream social, public gathering, etc.
9. “You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clown college!”
Everyday use: the perfect non sequitur to leave a room.
10. “Stupid sexy Flanders.”
Everyday use: “Did you see True Blood? Jason had a Stupid Sexy Flanders moment with Eric.”
11. “He’s back! In Pog form!”
Everyday use: “I can’t believe Battletoads are a thing again. But they’re back…in Pog form!”
12. “…which was the style at the time.”
Everyday use: it’s kicker to a long, rambling story that goes nowhere.
13. “They taste like burning.”
Everyday use: “I shouldn’t have eaten those Red Hots mixed with bleach. They taste like burning.”
14. “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.”
Everyday use: “Jim Parsons won ANOTHER Emmy, but don’t blame me, I voted for Charlie Sheen.”
15. “I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.”
Everyday use: “I, for one, welcome our Empire of the Ants-quoting overlords.”
16. “It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times…”
Everyday use: “This is the blurst week of my life.”
17. “That’s a paddlin’…”
Everyday use: “Texting during a movie? That’s a paddlin’.”
18. “Stupid babies need the most attention.”
Everyday use: you probably don’t want to say this one out loud; just think it.
19. “Worst. Episode. Ever.”
Everyday use: applicable for TV shows, movies, books, songs…pretty much everything.
20. “Everything’s coming up Milhouse.”
Everyday use: “You mean I get to write about The Simpsons today? Everything’s coming up Milhouse!
