‘The Americans’ Anxiety Report: Love Is Dead And So Is Another Poor Dope

04.12.18 4 Comments


The Americans Anxiety Report is a weekly rundown of the people and things we are currently most worried about on the show. It will get weird because many of the people and things we will be worrying about will be tools in a plot to ruin America, put in motion by another country. Blame the show for this, not us.

10. Love, generally (Last week: Unranked)

We’ll touch on all of these again in a bit more depth, but here’s a quick recap of the relationships in this week’s episode:

  • Philip and Elizabeth are arguing over Paige and the state of Russia and staring silently at each other in half-lit rooms of their now-empty house
  • Stan and Renee are having conversations about work that take sudden turns toward “I want to be an FBI agent like you, maybe you can pull some strings for me,” which is weird and seems like a sign of trouble on the horizon
  • Sofia and Gennadi are getting split up by the government — although it was probably coming anyway, I blame Bogdon — to give them new identities and poor dumb Gennadi will never get to see young Ilya again and he’s just heartbroken about it all

Love is dead.

9. The employees at Philip’s travel agency (Last week: 5)


[Philip springs out of his office and into the employee area of the travel agency]

“Rick, stand up.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes. Rick here booked three cruises this week. Rick, why don’t you tell us three strategies you used?”

“I, uh, I don’t remember.”

“That’s right. Create value. What else?”

“Oh God. I’m sweating.”

“Correct. Create an image in their mind. One more.”

“I… can I please sit down now? I don’t like public speakin-“

“Yes. Upselling! Now, Lacy, tell us why cruises are important.”

“My name is Sharon. Lacy is at lunc-”

“Exactly. Repeat business. Great work, team!”

8. Elizabeth (Last week: 3)

Elizabeth remains extremely fried and sloppy in her spy work, no doubt the result of trying to balance like 20 missions and cleaning brains out of her hair and wearing a cyanide pill and training her daughter to become a spy and dealing with an empty house that she hates and a husband whose ideology continues to evolve into something she also hates, but I’m finding it hard to remain sympathetic. It’s funny, she’s killed a number of innocent people and done really horrible things to plenty of others, but the line I seem to be drawing is her working Paige like an asset and lying about the job she’s being groomed for. I reserve the right to backtrack on this later, but for now, she slides down our list.

7. Gennadi (Last week: Unranked)


This poor lunkhead. He was in over his head from the beginning and he probably sabotaged his marriage by just sitting around watching sports and drinking beer, but I felt bad for him at the end when his lonely future started hitting him. He looked so sad. Bogdon, you homewrecking piece of trash. This is your fault.

6. Stan (Last week: 7)

Couple Stan things.

STAN THING NUMBER ONE: For a guy who is allegedly off hunting drug dealers and money launderers, Stan sure is spending a lot of time chatting with Aderholdt about dead generals and former Russian spies who are taking classes at George Mason. Leave Stan alone, Aderholdt. Geez. You know he’s not strong enough to stay away. Let my man live.

STAN THING NUMBER TWO: Very confusing Renee development this week. Not sure what to make of it. On one hand, her angling for a job with the FBI seems to imply she’s been more of a badge-hunting action-junkie all along and that’s where her interest in Stan’s work came from, as opposed to from orders given by a foreign or domestic intelligence agency. On the other hand, I still don’t trust her and probably never will. Could go either way.

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