You can keep your outdated “there’s a fly on Mike Pence’s head” sketch and other 2021 Emmy Awards shenanigans. On Monday night, as The Wrap reported, Trevor Noah announced that his own awards show is making a comeback: the second annual Pandemmys are here!
While a “second annual” anything might seem like a good thing, Noah assured his viewers that was definitely not the case with the Pademmys. “You see last year, at this time, we thought it would be fun to honor some of the most outstanding performances of the coronavirus pandemic. And we really blew it out, because we were all like, ‘Well, we definitely won’t be doing this more than once. It’s not like COVID will still be a thing in September 2021. Remember when we had hope?”
The good news is that it’s the viewers who will choose the winners of these 10 awards, which Noah warned are all “extremely competitive.” Among this year’s categories are Best Historical Adaptation, which honors those people who, according to Noah, “compared President Biden’s anti-COVID’s efforts to various events from the past.” And the nominees are…
Tucker Carlson for “Jim Crow”
Steve Hilton for “Apartheid”
Candace Owens for “Segregation”
Marjorie Taylor Greene for “Nazi Germany”
That’s one category you wouldn’t want to be a part of, both because of just how competitive it is… and also because being a nominee would mean that you’re probably a nutso bigot who has clearly never cracked a history book.
Noah, being from South Africa, admitted that the apartheid comparison is a personal favorite for him. “Being forced to wear masks is a lot like apartheid,” he said. “I mean, we all remember when Nelson Mandela said, ‘I refuse to wear a face diaper, like some libtard cuck.’ Famous words, man. Because that’s what apartheid was: If you didn’t choose to be white, then you were oppressed, and this is the exact same thing!”
Among the other heated categories: Best Original COVID Treatment (before you predict that Ivermectin’s got this one in the bag, don’t forget Trump’s suggestion that we all drink bleach); Outstanding Achievement in Scapegoating; Best Vaccine Incentive That’s Not “It Saves Your Life”; Best COVID-Supporting Governor (if Ron DeSantis doesn’t take this category for his seeming attempts to murder all of Florida, it’s clearly rigged); Best Supporting Disaster in a Pandemic; and The Donald J. Trump “It’s Like the Flu” Award for Worst COVID Prediction (never have we wished for Ted Cruz to succeed so badly… or at all).
You can view all the categories, and cast your vote, on the Pandemmys website here; the winners will be announced on September 28.
(Via The Wrap)