Warning: This post contains major spoilers for Season 2 (and a touch of Season 1) of The White Lotus.
Like its first season, the second season of The White Lotus ended with a death. Actually, this round it was multiple deaths, as foretold in the flashback that kicked off the maiden episode. It even went out with a bang — several of them, in fact. So what happened? Who died? Please say it wasn’t Albie (Adam DiMarco), the innocent sweet goof in love with Lucia (Simona Tabasco), the hustling sex worker. (Spoiler: It wasn’t.) Let’s break down the fates by people or groups:
Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge)
The wealthy hot mess that is Tanya caught on a bit too late that the villa- and yacht-owning “gays,” as she called them, were indeed trying to murder them. Did it involve Greg (Jon Gries), her shady-seeming husband? Ambiguous but probable. Either way, he’s now wealthy, because he inherited her fortune, because she died by falling off a yacht wrong — but only after gunning down three of the four men planning to tie her up and shoot her, or whatever their plan was. Poor Tanya, but it had to be done, we guess. This was all spoilered a while back and no one noticed.
Portia (Haley Lu Richardson)
In some ways, Portia’s fate was intertwined with Tanya, her employer. While Tanya was hanging out with the jet setting “gays,” she was gallivanting with the alleged nephew of one of Tom Hollander’s Quentin: Leo Woodall’s Jack. Quentin, however, was not Jack’s uncle. Jack was in their employ, for some vaguely troubling reasons. Part of his job, he revealed, was looking after Portia, even at one point stealing her phone. He may have had to do more unpleasant stuff to her. Instead, he drove her near an airport — not to it, but near — and advised her to not return to the hotel, if she was “smart.” She escaped just fine, even reuniting with Albie, the boy she could have almost had.
The Harper-Ethan-Cameron-Daphne Contingent
Two couples. One (Aubrey Plaza’s Harper and Will Sharpe’s Ethan) is noveau riche and therefore not yet fully spoiled. The other (Thoe James’ Cameron and Meghann Fahy’s Daphne) have been at the rich thing for a while and are even basically cool with their open relationship. Harper hated the other couple. Ethan basically seemed to, too. But even though things came to blows, with Ethan fighting, even coldcocking Cameron for briefly snogging his wife, it ended happily. Cameron didn’t even mention the fight over an awkward dinner. And after resisting his wife’s lusty overtures for the entire season, Ethan finally got hot and heavy with her. They even snuggled while waiting at the airport. Of course, Ethan may have hooked up with Daphne…
The DiGrasso Boys
Grandfather Bert (F. Murray Abraham) got a mild concussion early on in the season, but he was fine and nothing bad happened to him. Head wound aside, he probably had the best time of anyone. Father Dominic (Michael Imperioli) reluctantly forked over a fortune so his young son Albie could get grifted by Lucia, but in exchange for a) feeling like a good Samaritan and b) Albie promising to help him patch things up with his estranged wife (the angry phone voice of Laura Dern). Oh, and yes, Albie realized too late he got had by Lucia, but seems to be okay with it, and not only because he reconnected with Portia, who both got had by hustlers. They also spent a ton of money.
Lucia And Mia
They both got what they wanted. Good for them.
Valentina (Sabrina Impacciatore)
Valentina got off a lot easier than Murray Bartlett’s Armond, the manager of the first season. She, too, wound up sleeping with one of her staff — or at least Mia (Beatrice Grannò), an asiring singer who joined her friend Lucia in sex work. But this didn’t lead to her death nor to any particular comeuppance. At least not yet.
Quentin And The Other “Gays”
They all either died after plotting to kill Tanya or, in one case, jumped into the cold night ocean, his fate untold.
Matteo (Federico Scribiani), The Lounge Singer
He lost his job to Mia, who accidentally gave him the wrong drug, sending him to the hospital for a few days, after which Mia schemed to replace him. He did not get his job back.
Rocco (Federico Ferrante), The Concierge Who’s Engaged To Isabella (Eleonora Romandini)
Rocco was sent to work the beaches, against his wishes, because Valentina was infatuated with his co-worker Isabella, who she didn’t know was his fiancée. But after Valentina hooked up with Mia and learned about Isabella’s relationship, she relented. Hooray. Beach duty sounds awful. A lot of happy endings on The White Lotus, even if things could always go south later.
