TV Gourmet: Trying ‘Arrested Development’s’ Mustard And Parmesan Cheese Disaster

Only once before in the storied, calorie-filled history of TV Gourmet have I devoted a post to a single meal, the immortal Steaktantic from Happy Endings. But I knew I had to make an exception as soon as I saw Arrested Development‘s Tobias, Gob, and nearly Maeby downing plates of mustard and Parmesan cheese, a reference I didn’t get at first, but felt brilliant once I did, hours after everyone else came to the same realization.

Last night, after stocking up on mustard and Parmesan cheese at my local bodega, where the cashier met me with curious looks typically saved for sad middle-aged men buying toilet paper and a six-pack of beer (I’m not middle-aged yet, thank you very much), I decided to try The Martin Mull. Was it AHHH or NAHHH? Find out.

Yum? As you can see in the banner image, Gob doesn’t include as much mustard as we did. That’s mostly because unless you’re watching an Oliver Stone movie, a pile of white powder isn’t particularly exciting; the extra mustard was globbed on to add some extra relish to an otherwise bland pile of nothingness.

This recipe also works for replicating Big Bird’s diarrhea. (Note to self: name band Big Bird’s Diarrhea.)

Speaking of bland piles of nothingness, this is me, reacting to my first swallow of The Martin Mull (phrasing). It was, despite appearances, better than you might expect. It tasted like a sandwich, minus the bread, the meat, the lettuce, the tomato, the onion, and the pickle, and with Parmesan cheese instead of pepper jack, but other than that, EXACTLY like a sandwich. Both Parmesan and mustard are such overwhelming flavors that they nicely (and potently) offset each other, and the flaky paste would actually taste good on a BLT. Or poured into one’s mouth.

On next week’s TV Gourmet: a dead dove bar.

(All photos via Nadia Chaudhury)