Come summer time, the only thing worth watching on the Big Four Networks is…when does football start again? Unless you’re a fan of reality shows and sitcoms that weren’t even good enough to make it on the midseason schedule, Fox, NBC, ABC, and CBS are all entertainment wastelands from June to August (the CW, too, but that’s year-round). Cable, on the other hand, is absolutely stacked, with both returning favorites (“Breaking Bad”!) and intriguing-sounding new shows (don’t make me regret calling you “intriguing,” “NTSF:SD:SUV”).
This is Warming Glow’s official summer TV preview, highlighting 25 shows, some great and some awful, but mostly somewhere in-between, that will keep you in the confines of your home instead of enjoying the warm weather and getting some much-needed exercise. (Also, before it’s brought up, “Beavis and Butthead” isn’t included because it doesn’t have an official premiere date yet.)
“Franklin & Bash” (TNT, June 1)
I’m looking forward to “Franklin & Bash” (it’s like the male version of “Rizzoli & Isles,” which returns July 11, FYI) because I’ll finally have a good reason for disliking Breckin Meyer. For years, the star of Road Trip and “Inside Schwartz” has bugged me, even though he’s in two shows I really like, “Robot Chicken” and “King of the Hill,” just because he looks so punchable. But now, when “Franklin & Bash” — about two “hotshot lawyers” played by Meyer and Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who presumably don’t play by the rules — premieres, I’ll have visual proof of why I dislike Breckin Meyer. Hopefully the world follows suit.
“Men of a Certain Age” (TNT, June 1)
Really, it’s good! I hate “Everybody Loves Raymond,” too, and think that Major League: Back to the Minors is the one weak spot in the otherwise perfect Major League trilogy (I have no previous grudge against you, Andre Braugher), but “Men of a Certain Age” is a great summer stay-at-home show. It’s easy to find yourself watching multiple episodes at a time, and Braugher, Ray Romano, and Scott Bakula (Dr. Beckett/Captain Archer!) have convincing chemistry between them. Although I can’t decide if “Men” makes me happy to be 23 years old or sad that I’m not in my 40s, I still suggest giving the show a chance.
“Childrens Hospital” (Adult Swim, June 2)
Rob Corddry, Megan Mullally, Rob Huebel, Ken Marino, Erinn Hayes, Lake Bell, Michael Cera, Henry Winkler, Malin Akerman, Nick Offerman, David Wain, Nick Kroll, Ed Helms, Jason Sudeikis, Joe Lo Truglio, Lizzy Caplan, Jon Hamm…the number of insanely funny people who have appeared on “Childrens Hospital” isn’t fair to other shows; they’re hogging all the talent. Season 3 begins at the very DVR-able time of midnight.
“Love Bites” (NBC, June 2)
Dead before it even aired, the hour-long comedy (uh oh) “Love Bites” was supposed to air in the fall of 2010. But a slew of behind-the-camera changes—like actress Becki Newton getting pregnant, even though her character on the show is a virgin, and Jordana Spiro fleeing back to her other, more successful show, “My Boys”—pushed “Love” back to midseason, then the summer, where it has a decreased episode count, from 13 to 9. Newton has already been cast on another pilot, so “Love Bites” is all set to be a trivia answer to a question no one ever asks.
“The Glades” (A&E, June 5)
Like “Dexter,” but for stupid(er?) people.
“Teen Wolf” (MTV, June 5)
First, there was “Airwolf,” about a high-tech helicopter and its military crew. Then there was Teen Wolf, starring Michael J. Fox as a high school student who transforms into a basketball-playing werewolf, which spawned a sequel, the Jason Bateman-led Teen Wolf Too, and an animated TV series, “The Cartoon Adventures of Teen Wolf.” In 1989, “Wolf,” about a San Francisco cop turned private investigator whose last name is Wolf, premiered (and lasted 12 episodes) on CBS. A decade later, “Big Wolf on Campus,” involving a werewolf-bitten teenager fighting off vampires and zombies in his hometown of Pleasantville, began on Canadian TV before making it to the states, on Fox Family. Previous failure notwithstanding, CBS attempted another wolf show in 2001, “Wolf Lake,” which combined the talents of real wolves and Lou Diamond Phillips, but it only ran for 10 episodes before getting canned. Finally, MTV has remade the original “Teen Wolf” for a whole new “Michael J. Who?” generation.
And now you have the complete history of “Teen Wolf” and shows with the word “wolf” in their titles.
“Jon Benjamin Has a Van” (Comedy Central, June 14)
According to Comedy Central, “Jon Benjamin Has a Van” is a “new inventive, irreverent, and hilarious narrative/fake news magazine comedy show,” of course starring Benjamin, who already has two must see-TV shows on air, “Archer” and “Bob’s Burgers” (as well as a recurring character, Carl, on “Family Guy”). Benjamin’s at a “so-funny-he-could-make-the-phone-book-hilarious” phase in his career, so hopefully “Van” will be better than Comedy Central’s last comedian passion project, “Important Things with Demetri Martin.”
“Happily Divorced” (TV Land, June 15)
“The Nanny” creators Fran Drescher and Peter Marc Jacobson married in 1978 and lasted 20 years together before they divorced in 1999. The reason: Jacobson was gay. More than a decade later, the two have created a geriatric comedy about their separation. Really makes you miss the “Alf’s Hit Talk Show”-era days of TV Land.
“Falling Skies” (TNT, June 19)
If “Falling Skies” was a movie or one-and-done season show, it would probably be awesome. Alien-invasion stories are, at the very least, interesting; Noah Wyle was one of the best things about “ER,” and Steven Spielberg co-created the show and will serve as executive producer. So, what’s the problem? I’m not sure if the idea—about the aftermath of an invasion—can sustain itself for any longer than its upcoming 10-episode season. I wish TNT would just come out and say, “This is it,” but if the show’s even slightly successful, as it probably will be, more episodes will be ordered, with more speeches given by Wyle on why the humans need to fight to keep hope alive. Not even convincing special effects, which “Falling Skies” seems to have if the trailer is any indication, can save a show from a little kid whining, “I just want everything back the way it was.”
To recap: short-term, awesome; long-term, uh oh.
“Web Therapy” (Showtime, June 19)
Lisa Kudrow plays Fiona Wallace, a self-centered therapist who speaks to her patients, who include Rashida Jones, Meryl Streep, and Courtney Cox, over webcam. The series has been an online hit since 2008, and it’s now coming to Showtime. “Web Therapy” will be Kudrow’s first starring role on a TV show since “The Comeback” aired its one fantastic season (damn that show was good), and there’s no reason to think it won’t be highly enjoyable. Certainly better than “Mr. Sunshine.”
“Futurama” (Comedy Central, June 23)
Of the 13 episodes that aired in the first half of “Futurama’s” sixth season, at least nine were as good, if not better, as the episodes that aired before the show was canceled. There was even one outright classic, “The Late Philip J. Fry,” which I’d put right up there with “Jurassic Bark” and “The Devil’s Hands Are Idle Playthings.” Not bad for a show that was left for dead back in 2003. “Ugly Americans,” which had a quality first season and serves as a nice one-two punch with “Futurama,” is back a week later.
“Louie” (FX, June 23)
Two of my friends work on the “Louie” crew, and although they haven’t told me anything specific about the upcoming season, they have repeatedly exclaimed how fantastic it is. They also say that Louis C.K. — who stars, writes, directs, and produces every episode of show, without any network interference — is exactly the way you’d expect him to be in person. Sometime before June 23, I recommend reading Emily Nussbaum’s excellent profile of Louis in New York Magazine. I also suggest watching the video below. It’s pretty much the greatest thing ever (“my di*k is bigger than a monkey’s paw…”):
“Wilfred” (FX, June 23)
“Wilfred” is about a depressed man named Ryan (Elijah Wood, an actor I’d watch in anything, which explains why I’ve seen North five times) who’s asked to watch his neighbor’s dog — a dog that to the rest of the world looks like a normal canine, but looks to Ryan like a man (Jason Gann) dressed in a dog suit. If “Wilfred” were on any other network, it’d be a train wreck. For a show like this to work, it has to go Full Weird, and considering FX’s great recent track record of offbeat comedies, like “Archer,” “The League,” and “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” “Wilfred” could be something special. And really f*cking weird.
“True Blood” (HBO, June 26)
I wonder if nudists value “True Blood” the same way Christians did “Touched by an Angel.” Do they ever say, “Finally, a show that shows the true beauty of the human body!” and then go pray to a naked statue of Alexander Skarsgård? (I’m sure there’s at least someone out there, at this exact moment, praying to a naked statue of Alexander Skarsgård.) I hope the fourth season of “True Blood” is better and less convoluted than last year, where for every great moment involving Franklin and Russell, there were five blah scenes of Jason trying to help out Redneckville, Alcide not doing anything, and Tara continuing to be one of worst characters on TV.
Also: I prefer Bill over Eric. There, I said it.
“Weeds” (Showtime, June 27)
It’s totally understandable if you stopped paying attention to “Weeds” after Nancy Botwin & Co. left Majestic all the way back at the end of season three. But after two subpar seasons, the show returned with a great sixth season in 2010, one that finally focused on the family rather than the family and Guillermo and Esteban and Pilar and bad guys who weren’t nearly as interesting as U-Turn. In the season’s final episode, Nancy turned herself in to the FBI, and the premiere picks up the story in New York City three years later. Martin Short will guest star for at least three episodes, surely chewing up some scenery along the way.
“The Big C” (Showtime, June 27)
Now that “United States of Tara” has been canceled, “The Big C” has officially become the third best Showtime series about a complex middle-aged woman who reinvents herself, behind “Weeds” and “Nurse Jackie.” Laura Linney and Oliver Platt are both excellent, but “The Big C” is too annoyingly quirky for its own good.
“Melissa & Joey” (ABC Family, June 29)
Unnecessary 1990s nostalgia is often wonderful, but this is a bit over the top. “Melissa & Joey” began as a surprisingly successful miniseries before transforming into an actual series, one that did so well for ABC Family that after 10 episodes, the network asked for 20 more to expand the first season (most network shows air 22-24 episodes per season). I’m honestly not sure how this show does so well; most ABC Family viewers didn’t grow up watching “Blossom,” and Melissa, a politician, and Joey, a nanny, meet on the show because she hired him to watch her niece and nephew after he lost all his money in a Ponzi scheme. This from the network that brings us “Pretty Little Liars.” Can I just watch “Gilmore Girls” reruns instead?
“Torchwood: Miracle Day” (Starz, July 8)
I’m a huge “Doctor Who” fan, but I haven’t seen a single episode of “Torchwood,” which is a bit like a “Simpsons” enthusiast never giving “Futurama” a chance. But I might start with “Miracle Day,” a 10-part series that looks and sounds fantastic (what happens when nobody in the world dies anymore?) and is written by an all-star team of sci-fi writers, including Russell T. Davies, Jane Espenson, and John Shiban, who co-wrote “Memento Mori,” one of the best episodes of “The X-Files.”
“Curb Your Enthusiasm” (HBO, July 10)
Although “Curb Your Enthusiasm” has filmed in New York before (back in season four, when Larry played Max Bialystock in the Broadway version of The Producers), the upcoming eighth season is being hyped as The New York Season, because more than half of the episodes take place there. As someone who lives in New York and likes going “OHMYGODIKNOWWHERETHATIS,” and as someone who also enjoys the work of Ricky Gervais and Michael J. Fox, who both guest star, I’m very much looking forward to this season, possibly the show’s last.
“The Closer” (TNT, July 11)
Several good-but-never-great shows are ending long runs this year: “Rescue Me,” “Entourage,” “Weeds,” and “The Closer,” probably the most respected of the bunch (and certainly most watched: it’s cable’s highest-rated drama). The show will, sort of, live on without Kyra Sedgwick, however, in a spinoff called “Major Crimes” (seriously), starring Mary McDonnell.
[Editor’s note: Yes, Josh called “Entourage” good. Be nice, he’s 23.]
“Rescue Me” (FX, July 12)
The winner of this summer’s “This Is Still On?” Award. “Rescue Me” has never been a bad show, nor has it ever been a great one either, but it always felt like it could be better than it is. It deals with a lot of heavy issues—most notably, being a firefighter dealing with post-9/11 trauma, but also drug use, rape, and rage issues—but the writing’s never been good enough to make “Rescue Me” resonate the same way the best HBO and AMC shows have (Dennis Leary has always been excellent, though). This is the show’s seventh and final season, timed to coincide with the 10th anniversary of the attacks on September 11.
“Damages” (DirecTV, July 13)
Like “Friday Night Lights,” “Damages” will air on DirecTV. Unlike “FNL,” however, it won’t be broadcast anywhere else. So, if you’re a fan of “Damages,” as you well should be, you’ll either have to be subscriber of the satellite service or wait until season four (doesn’t it seem like this show has been on for a decade?) is released on DVD—or, y’know, “borrow” it online. Joining an already stacked lineup of Glenn Close and Rose Byrne is John Goodman, who will, according to USA Today, play a “CEO of a shadowy military contractor who becomes a defendant in a wrongful death suit over an incident in a war zone.” Hopefully things end better for him than they did on “Roseanne” and “Treme.”
“Breaking Bad” (AMC, July 17)
Rather than heap deserved praise at “Breaking Bad,” I’ll just give it the Ultimate Compliment: “Breaking Bad” is the best show on TV.
“NTSF:SD:SUV” (Adult Swim, July 21)
What began as a mock-promo during episodes of “Childrens Hospital” has now become an actual series on Adult Swim. The Paul Scheer-created “NTSD:SD:SUV” mocks acronym-loving crime procedurals like “CSI” and “NCIS” and stars not only Scheer, but also Rebecca Romijn, Rob Riggle, Martin Starr, and Kate Mulgrew.
“Entourage” (HBO, July 24)
At least the show’s done after this season—unless a full-length film gets made. You ain’t seen Turtle ‘til you’ve seen Turtle on the big screen!
