Super Bowl 50 (CBS, Sunday 6:30 p.m.) — Panthers vs. Broncos. Cam vs. Peyton. The dab vs. Omaha. Coldplay plays at halftime and some company surely sets society back two generations with an offensive or terrible advertisement that cost more money than you’ll make in a lifetime. Eat some wings, play a pool. This is America, baby.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday 11:30 p.m.) — Get ready to feel the Bern for, like, an entire episode because Larry David handles hosting duties while The 1975 serves as the musical guest.
Puppy Bowl XII (Animal Planet, Sunday 3 p.m.) — So cute that you can’t even right now.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert (CBS, Sunday after the Super Bowl) — Tina Fey, Margot Robbie, Will Ferrell, Megyn Kelly and Key & Peele.
The Late Late Show With James Corden (CBS, Sunday after Colbert) — Zac Efron, Anna Kendrick, Adam DeVine and carpool karaoke with Sir Elton John.
Republican Debate (ABC, Saturday 8 p.m.) — ABC News is going to invite Kasich, Bush (please clap!), Rubio, Cruz, Carson, Christie and, of course, The Donald, to be on the dais for the Republican New Hampshire debate.
Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials (CBS, Saturday 8 p.m.) — What is your favorite Super Bowl ad of all-time and why is it that one-second Miller High Life spot?
Hannibal Buress: Comedy Comisado (Netflix, Anytime) — Between filming Broad City, doing voiceover work, writing for other shows and vacationing in Japan, Hannibal Buress somehow found time to work out a new hour of material for this special shot in Minneapolis.
The Vampire Diaries (The CW, Friday 8 p.m.) — Stefan puts on a strong face in the Phoenix stone and tries to help Damon get his ish together.
Sleepy Hollow (FOX, Friday 8 p.m.) — Ichabod chooses a lesser evil in the wake of Abbie’s disappearance.
Super Bowl’s Greatest Halftime Shows (CBS, Friday 9 p.m.) — What is your favorite Super Bowl ha–agh, we can all agree on this one, right? Let’s just pray that this special doesn’t feature a second of that Black Eyed Peas fiasco.
The Originals (The CW, Friday 9 p.m.) — Elijah has his eyes on killing an original, but has to join forces with Aya to git ‘er done.
Grimm (NBC, Friday 9 p.m.) — Nessie might have killed a tourist and Nick gets to peek behind the curtain into the operations center of a top-secret government agency … who’s probably been reading his Snapchats this whole time.
Michael Jackson’s Journey From Motown to Off the Wall (Showtime, Friday 9 p.m.) — This Spike Lee joint chronicles Michael’s evolution from baby-faced Motown star to the King of Pop with his first solo release as an adult, Off the Wall.
Vice (HBO, Friday 10 p.m.) — The season four premiere focuses on Boko Haram’s bloody rise to power in Nigeria.
Children’s Hospital (Adult Swim, Friday 11 p.m.) — Dean Koontz is coming!
Downton Abbey (PBS, Sunday 9 p.m.) — You can call Violet General Sherman because she’s employing a scorched-earth policy when the battle over the hospital boils over.
Shameless (Showtime, Sunday 9 p.m.) — Helene’s dodging Lip and Debbie’s doing the exact opposite of that with Tyler.
Billions (Showtime, Sunday 10 p.m.) — Chuck sees exactly what makes the gears turn at Axe Capital.
Late Night Guests (Friday)
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert — Bobby Cannavale, Donny Deutsch and Charles Kelley
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon — Rebel Wilson, Jack Huston and Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats
Late Night With Seth Meyers — Leslie Mann, Joshua Jackson and Benjamin Walker