Archer (FX, 10 p.m.) — Archer and Lana go undercover as honeymooners. BANG ZOOM STRAIGHT TO THE MOON, LANA…LANA? LAAAAANNNNNNNNAAAAAAAA. It’s funny because he’s threatening to beat his wife.
Community (NBC, 8 p.m.) — “Dean Pelton asks the study group to help secure a grant for research into Chang’s memory loss, while Abed films their efforts for a documentary.” Those are probably my three least favorite characters on the show, so expect a cranky review tomorrow. Sorry in advance.
Two and a Half Men (CBS, 8:30 p.m.) — Tonight’s episode is titled “Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon.” Yeah.
Parks and Rec (NBC, 8:30 p.m.) — Thank god you’re back, with Jenny Slate as Jean-Ralphio’s sister in tow.
The Office (NBC, 9 p.m.) — This is the would-be The Farm pilot that NBC rejected. Good…job…NBC?
Elementary (CBS, 10 p.m.) — Joan is sent on her first solo case, investigating the disappearance of a woman who left a breakup video for her husband. She’s probably hiding away in a computer lab somewhere, reading about the return of Sherlock.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Gerard Butler on Letterman; James Franco on Leno; Monica Potter and Jim Rome on Ferguson; Katie Couric, Freddie Highmore, and Justin Timberlake on Fallon; and Steve Carell on Conan.
