135th Annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (USA) — Although I prefer ESPN’s amazing dog competitions to this august affair with sad frumpy people wearing cheap dress clothing, I still like to tune in for the herding and sporting groups — and to test my memory of Fred Willard quotes from Best in Show. For those who are wondering why there’s a golden retriever up top instead of a corgi, here’s nine minutes of corgi footage from last year’s competition. (image via)
Jeopardy! (ABC) — Man versus machine! What are you doing, Jennings?!? Don’t smile at that thing! DESTROY IT BEFORE IT KILLS US ALL!
Mad Love (CBS) — Series premiere. Starring three actors I like (Sarah Chalke, Judy Greer, and Tyler Labine) and one that I absolutely hate (Jason Biggs). You may remember my little rant against this from two weeks ago, and now I’m further turned off by CBS debuting it on Valentine’s Day. Ugh.
Hawaii Five-O (CBS) — Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo guest star. Minnillo’s character gets kidnapped by pirates. Nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash for her.
The Bachelor (ABC) — The best Valentine’s day present I can ask for is a sad bachelorette crying after she fails to win a rose on a reality show. Special promotional tie-in: the six remaining girls get photographed for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which conveniently hits news stands tomorrow.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Justin Bieber and the Black Keys on Conan (wow, that’s both ends of the spectrum); Lady Gaga and Sofia Vergara on Leno; January Jones on Fallon; and the SI Swimsuit cover model on Letterman. It’s supposed to be a secret, but WWTDD says it’s going to be Chrissy Teigen, and if her tweets from the Grammys are any indication, she’s gonna be a great late-night guest.
[Full listings at TV Squad]
