Inside Amy Schumer (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.) – Three’s a crowd, especially when it pertains to how many buttholes an average human has. While Amy takes on some Monty Python posterior ponderings, she also dates a guy with a British accent and watches hookups get thwarted.
Hollywood Game Night (NBC, 10 p.m.) – Jane Lynch is back for Season 3, and John Legend, Chrissy Teigen, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Giada De Laurentiis, Zachary Quinto and Jane Krakowski are joining her for the premiere. Is it fun to watch celebrities get wasted and struggle to compete against each other with word association games? Sure. Should you forego your Tuesday night routine of popping a Xanax and downing a bottle of Merlot just to stay up and watch? Probably not.
America’s Got Talent (NBC, 8 p.m.) – This is the last of the audition rounds, or so NBC says.
Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader (Fox, 8 p.m.) – A real estate agent tests his IQ, proves it doesn’t take a genius to sell somebody a house.
Return of the Great White Serial Killer: Sharkopedia Edition (DSC, 8 p.m.) – The Discovery Channel comes up with the scariest title they can think of to sell an episode of Shark Week that’s basically a real-life rip off of Jaws. (Yes, I will be watching.)
Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 9 p.m.) – Jane and Maura dive into the shady underground world of art forgery when a thief is murdered, and Angela starts hooking up with someone new.
Shark Week: Bride of Jaws (DSC, 9 p.m.) – Scientists are on the hunt for the largest female white shark that’s ever been tagged. Seriously, though, whoever’s coming up with these episode titles for Discovery should win some kind of award.
Stitchers (ABC Fam, 9 p.m.) – Kirsten investigates the beginnings of the Stitcher’s program while sifting through the memories of a dead brain researcher. The irony is ripe.
Total Divas (E!, 9 p.m.) – The Season 4 premiere sees the Bellas facing the consequences of leaving WWE while Nattie explores her dominatrix side. Guys will watch this show for the women in tight spandex, girls will tune in for the catty bitch fights, and the E! network will continue to control the world through crappy reality television.
Zoo (CBS, 9 p.m.) – You know it’s a bad day when you have to rescue your best friend from a lion attack after the big cats decide that killing humans for sport sounds like a fun idea.
Ink Master (SPIKE, 10 p.m.) – Three reasons to watch tonight: New rivalries, an explosive elimination, and some pretty cool underwater ocean scene tattoos.
Scream: The TV Series (MTV, 10 p.m.) – Another teen is dead, and Amy and Emma have Bad Blood and are on the outs.
Tyrant (FX, 10 p.m.) – While Barry adjusts to his new life and identity, Jamal discovers a surprising connection to a war hero, and Ihab and Samira change their plans to flee the country.
Royal Pains (USA, 10 p.m.) – Keller needs Hank’s help with an embarrassing medical problem, while Divya treats a group of Civil War reenactors who are suffering from an age-old disease.
Another Period (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.) – While Lillian and Beatrice are busy staging mock funerals for their husbands, Peepers is forced to confront his Native American roots after learning about his father’s death from his estranged family.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Kimmel, Fallon, Conan, Meyers, Corden and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart are all repeats tonight.