Delta Company (Military Channel) — From 2:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m. tonight is a two-part documentary about my tank company’s invasion of Iraq. It’s not exactly the all-time greatest war documentary, and there’s not nearly enough of that handsome Lieutenant Ufford in it for my liking, but the first-hand footage of all the explosions f-cking OWNS. You can watch the actual secondary explosions described here.
16 and Pregnant (MTV) — A pregnant teen goes to the prom. And all the other kids talk behind her back about how sad her existence is.
Raising Sextuplets (We) — Suddenly relevant now that Jon & Kate have been successfully destroyed.
The Listener (NBC) — A telepathic paramedic. Uh huh. Sure. Don’t get me wrong, paramedics are awesome and total badasses, but if I had mental telepathy, I’d be in a job where I could make loads more money.
The Jacksons: An American Dream (VH1) — Really? We’re still mourning Michael Jackson? That’s so last week. Whither the love for Karl Malden? **watches Patton for 37th time**
All right, everybody. If you’re taking off for the 4th, have a happy weekend. If you’re sticking around tomorrow, I’ll be checking in with some links and a weekend preview. Other than that, you’re on your own.