TV

If Wilson Fisk From ‘Daredevil’ Was A Waiter In A Restaurant


Netflix

A young couple is seated at a table in a nice restaurant. They’ve heard great things about it but knew it was a little out of their price range. It is their third anniversary, though, and they are deeply in love and want to splurge. As they look at their menus, they notice a giant hulking bald man approaching the table. It is Wilson Fisk from Daredevil. He is their waiter.

WILSON FISK: Hello, my name is Wilson and I’ll be your waiter tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?

MAN: I’ll have a glass of Cabernet.

WOMAN: Make that two, please.

WILSON FISK: Excellent. And are we interested in any appetizers tonight?

MAN: Hmm. We were thinking about sharing the beef carpaccio.

WILSON FISK: I killed a rabbit when I was a boy. It belonged to my neighbor, Timmy. I had no particular animus for Timmy or the rabbit. It was a violent act borne of opportunity and curiosity. The rabbit was in a small cage in the garage and the garage was open. Timmy’s father was working on the family car, a brown station wagon. I entered when he went inside to get a glass of lemonade. Without a word, I slit the rabbit’s throat with a pocket knife and began consuming its flesh. There’s something primal about eating raw meat. Something that’s makes you feel… worthy of being at the top of the food chain. It’s invigorating. The beef carpaccio will make you feel… alive.

MAN: … okay…

WILSON FISK: Terrific. I’ll put that in now and be back with your wine shortly.

[Fisk leaves]

WOMAN: What the hell?

MAN: Jesus Christ.

WOMAN: I’m very uncomfortable now.

MAN: Do… do you want to leave?

WOMAN: I do but… it took so long to get a reservation. And we’re here now. Let’s just try to stick it out?

MAN: If you want….

*****

The couple decides to stay. They get their wine. Their waiter, Wilson Fisk from Daredevil, returns.

WILSON FISK: The beef carpaccio should be out momentarily. Have we decided what we want for dinner? Ladies first, of course.

WOMAN: I… I’ll have the swordfish.

WILSON FISK: [deep breath, like he’s preparing to say something] … Terrific. And for you, sir?

WOMAN: Oh, thank God.

WILSON FISK: Excuse me?

WOMAN: Nothing.

WILSON FISK: Very well. Sir?

MAN: I think I’ll have the gnocchi.

WILSON FISK: Excellent choice. I’ll be right back with your appetizer.

[Wilson Fisk leaves]

WOMAN: Wow, that went much better.

MAN: I know. I really thought he was gonna say something after you ordered the swordfish.

WOMAN: I was terrified. Oh wait, here he comes with the carpaccio.

WILSON FISK: Your carpaccio. One note: Sir, I neglected to inquire earlier… your gnocchi, did you want the cream sauce with peas and chicken or the red sauce with roasted peppers?

MAN: I’ll do the red sauce.

WILSON FISK: I was a lonely child. Part of that was my own decision, as I have always preferred extended moments of solitude. But part of it was because I had a… turbulent home life…

MAN: Maybe I’ll do the cream sau-…

WILSON FISK: I was scared to bring friends home for fear of what they would see. What they would… witness. I internalized all of these emotions until one day they exploded out of me and I beat my father to death with a hammer.

WOMAN: Jesus…

WILSON FISK: I swung and swung, long past the point when the deed was done. I swung until my shoulder raged with pain. And then I kept swinging. I thought I was releasing my demons… that it would heal me… but all I was doing was opening the door to my true soul. A beast lived inside me then and it still resides there today, watching, waiting, ready to strike. I have made peace with the beast. We share a certain set of common desires. One of those shared desires… the first… was the destruction of my father’s body. Blood painted the walls. His brain lay outside his skull, on the floor, looking not entirely unlike a spilled plate of… gnocchi with red sauce.

MAN: [terrified silence]

WOMAN: [terrified silence]

WILSON FISK: I’ll alert the chef. Enjoy the carpaccio.

*****

The couple picks at their appetizer and, later, their dinner, their appetite suddenly vanishing. They avoid eye contact with their waiter, Wilson Fisk from Daredevil, throughout the meal, to try to dissuade him from coming back to their table. Their stalling only works for so long, though.

WILSON FISK: Was everything to your liking? I couldn’t help but notice that neither of you finished your entrees.

WOMAN: Oh no, everything was great. We just… we wanted to save some leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

WILSON FISK: So I can’t interest you in dessert?

MAN: I think we’ll pass. Just the chec-

WILSON FISK: Indulgence can be a healthy thing. A periodic gift to yourself, something… naughty, is necessary for survival. Give in to your desires, your wants, your… needs. It’s your true self. It’s who you are, deep down, in places where only honesty lives. Don’t shut that voice out. Listen to it, feed it, see what you want in life and… [slams fist on table]… just take it! You are the powerful one. It’s you! And your secret… what you’ve kept hidden away from even the ones you love… is that you have been the beast all along. It wasn’t… two separate entities… you and a monster that lives inside you. It was one hungry predator, always hunting, salivating, looking for its next meal. Feed it. Indulge! Before it consumes you from within!

WOMAN: I… uh…

MAN: I guess we can hear the options…

WILSON FISK: Wonderful. Tonight we’re featuring homemade vanilla bean ice cream and a decadent baked dessert, a death by chocolate cake with a reduced blood orange glaze that we-…

MAN AND WOMAN: [in unison, panicked] Vanilla ice cream!

WILSON FISK: Very well.

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