A few months ago, I was woken up late at night by a blood chilling scream coming from the apartment above mine. I bolted out of bed and ran upstairs thinking someone was being murdered or raped and I was going to stop it by, I don’t know, yelling or something. Instead I saw saw two twentysomething-year-old women in tank tops and panties with brooms trying to scare a mouse out the front door of their apartment. I have never been in a more porn-like situation.
“What the f–k is your problem? This is New York City, you have a mouse, get over it,” I said and went back to bed. That is how I imagine being a real life superhero works, except you kill the mouse, wear a mask and have a threesome afterward.
As predicted by the work of modern social philosopher Mark Millar’s “Kick Ass”, people will inevitably be inspired by superhero movies to dress up and fight crime. We’ve been hearing for a while now about everyday citizens who dress up in costume to patrol their neighborhoods at night. Sometimes these characters are in fact vigilantes attempting to curtail crime, teach martial arts to the weak and dispense sewing tips. Others seem to be focused on humanitarian work such as feeding the homeless while calling attention to themselves. And guess what? They’re about to get a whole lot more attention.
HBO has announced a new documentary called “Superheroes” to air on Monday, August 8th. Sounds like a lot of fun, right? The show will profile a number of these superheroes with complete impartiality idealized praise.
Mr. Xtreme, a 33-year old man of conviction and purpose, with a loathing for apathy and indifference. He sets out on nightly patrols in his hometown of San Diego to deter violent crime before it occurs. An imposing figure of neon and camouflage, Mr. Xtreme will stop at nothing to protect his community from the villains and goons who reap fear throughout greater San Diego.
Lucid (N.Y.I.), who settled in Brooklyn to lend a helping hand to the N.Y.I. and assist in “bait” patrols. Big, strong and nomadic at heart, he wears the pain, joy and experience of his life as tattoos, and can be heard saying, “I’ve hurt enough people in my life, now it’s time to give back.”
T.S.A.F. (N.Y.I.), pronounced “Saf,” which stands for “The Silenced and Forgotten.” Enigmatic, beautiful and fierce, T.S.A.F. brings an unparalleled passion to her work in the N.Y.I. as she puts herself in harm’s way.
And if you’re thinking to yourself, “Man! That sounds like the back of a trading card!” Check out the art for the show below.