Latest News in Humanity’s Doom: Seals Now Getting Bird Flu

Senior Contributor
08.01.12

Remember when bird flu was a health fad and everybody was scared birds were going to kill us all? Guess what? They’re killing seals first.

It’s not H5N1, though. No, this strain is H3N8. And I can’t tell you how happy I am to be living near the epicenter of this possible end of the human race, since it was found in seals in Massachusetts and New Hampshire. Specifically in dead baby harbor seals who washed up on shore.

H3N8 has crossed over to mammals before, but this is the first time it’s crossed over into seals. That’s a problem because there’s real potential for seals to catch both mammalian flu and avian flu, allowing them to combine and mutate in God only knows what kind of ways.

In other words, adorable baby seals may possibly herald the end of the human race. Sleep tight!

image courtesy 1000zen on Flickr, and yes, I know that’s not a baby harbor seal, but come on, I needed the cutest image possible to balance out the possible end of the world.

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