Paramount just debuted a second theatrical trailer for Transformers: Age of Extinction, part one of a new trilogy which Mark Wahlberg said is “probably the most iconic franchise in movie history.” *nods solemnly, jots down “grandiosity” on blue legal pad, asks Wahlberg about his relationship with his mother, is promptly told to say hi to mine.*
The new trailer has even more dinobot goodness than the first one. Just when I want to hate everything Michael Bay does, robots start shooting lasers from their faces and Optimus Prime rides Grimlock while wielding a sword.
Okay, fine. I’ll watch it. I’ll hate myself for it, but I’ll watch it. *eats a hot pocket* WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF?
“Tonight . . . YOU.”
“I’M OUT OF METAMUCIL.”
Transformers: Age of Extinction opens June 27th, 2014.