Twitter Wants To Make A Reality Show

07.26.12 6 years ago 7 Comments

Twitter wants to air a reality show. Let me repeat that. Twitter wants to air a reality show.

Do I sound opposed? Because I’m not. I think this is a brilliant idea and likely for precisely the opposite reason Twitter thinks it is.

Twitter, as we’ve demonstrated repeatedly, just brings out the most annoying in people. For some reason 140 characters is all people really need to demonstrate all their worst personality flaws.

In other words Twitter is a bottomless well of jerks! Casting will be so simple and so, so much fun. Find the most loathsome people on Twitter who don’t happen to be celebrities (or will attend a mall opening for the attention) and put them in a house.

You don’t need to make it a competition; you just need to put them in a room and the drama will literally create itself as they fight to make everything revolve around them. It will create a black hole of hatred as you find yourself repelled by the petty behavior on screen and disgusted at yourself for watching it yet you will be unable to look away.

It will be brilliant. It will achieve the apotheosis of what reality television has been trying to achieve for decades: elevating all the myriad petty ways we’re awful to each other and pathetically self-involved to art. It will be humanity at its most venal, a criticism of both the self-involved failures on-screen and all of us, since we’re too venal to look away.

And then we’ll likely be wiped off the face of the galaxy by some more advanced alien race. But by that point we’ll be welcoming the sweet release of death.

image courtesy bdspecht on Flickr

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