A Widow Penned A Passionate Defense Of Patton Oswalt’s Recently Announced Engagement

Last year, Patton Oswalt’s worst nightmare became all too public when one morning he found his wife passed away in their bed. His public grieving brought us closer to his pain as he tried to recover into some semblance of normalcy while he continued to care for his seven-year-old daughter, but for some, it was intense knowing how utterly gutted Patton was.

The internet devolved into the cesspool that boils up all too often at times, but for every single troll, it seemed like ten empathetic souls reached out to Patton and helped him get back on his feet. Losing a partner, one that you created a life with, can bring a pain that is unfathomable to most. That’s why the recent announcement that Oswalt was getting engaged to actress Meredith Salenger put some off with its relative quickness. Maybe they thought he was supposed to be miserable forever, or until the masses on social media deemed it appropriate for him to love again so soon after his wife’s death.

This led to widow Erica Roman writing a passionate defense of his recent engagement. She understood what Oswalt was going through as well as anyone — her husband died just days before Oswalt’s wife. To her, they were on this terrible journey together.

Her touching essay is also seething, damning those who are judging Oswalt for being already able to love again:

Who gave you the position to judge when it’s “too soon” for a person who has suffered the worst to be able to find happiness and companionship again? Its been 15 months! How long should a widow sit in isolation before YOU are comfortable enough to release them from their solitary confinement? Because it’s really about you isn’t it? You aren’t actually concerned about the heart of the person who has found the strength and courage to love once more. You’re worried about your own offended sensibilities rooted in old Victorian traditions. Stop pretending you are actually concerned about their “healing.”

And it does take strength and courage. To imply that it is weakness that drives someone who has lost their spouse to choose to love again is asinine. Unlike most, those who have been widowed are hyper aware that everyone they see will someday die. We know intimately that the price of love is pain. So if you see a widow or widower overcome that knowledge and choose to open their heart to that pain once again, instead of judging, you should be celebrating their bravery and fortitude. That much courage deserves a freaking parade.

Patton’s response was succinct:

And Meredith followed up with a post of her own on Facebook:

Roman’s entire post is absolutely worth reading, and you can do so here.