One year ago today, Patton Oswalt‘s wife, true crime writer Michelle McNamara, passed away after taking prescription medications with an undiagnosed heart condition. Oswalt has spoken eloquently about his late wife, both about their life together and how things have changed since her passing. Today, Oswalt wrote a heart-felt tribute on Facebook, explaining that life without her is “awful, but it’s not fatal.”
“Last night I took off my wedding ring. I couldn’t bear removing it since April 21st, 2016. But now it felt obscene. That anonymous poem about the man mourning his dead lover for a year and a day, for craving a kiss from her ‘clay cold lips.’ I was inviting more darkness. Removing the ring was removing the last symbol of denial of who I was now, and what my life is, and what my responsibilities are.”
Oswalt describes his “box of happy stuff,” where the ring now goes. The details of the day remain private (as they should), but it’s clear that Oswalt and their young daughter, Alice, spent the day celebrating her life instead of mourning the loss.
“And no, I’m not making today any sort of dark ritual or painful memorial. No graveside visit. Those are for when Alice and I have something exciting to say to her. No candle lighting or ballon launching. We think of her every day — she’s still so tied into our worlds, in a way that’s encouraging, and energizing. So why light a flame that will die, or release a balloon that will disappear? Michelle’s gone but she wasn’t the kind of soul that disappears or dies out.”
The entire post is worth a read, as it exhibits the humor and grace that fans have come to expect from Oswalt. While the wound is still relatively fresh, it’s good to know that Oswalt has found at least a small bit of peace.
