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Creepy Creep Rick Santorum Just HAD To Inject Himself Into The Whole Chick-Fil-A Controversy, Naturally

By / 07.25.12

I’ll be honest with you guys: I haven’t been playing as close attention to this whole Chick-Fil-A controversy as I normally would because it’s distressing the hell out of me. On the one hand, I’m in proponent of gay rights, just like any good ole Southern liberal boy should. On the other hand, I love me some delicious chicken, just like any good ole Southern liberal boy should. Being caught in the middle of this whole thing — smack in between my support for gay people having equal rights and my love for tasty Chick-Fil-A chicken — has been a TERRIBLE turn of events.

But with each passing day it’s becoming easier for me to come to terms with the fact that I’ll probably never be able to eat at Chick-Fil-A again without hating myself a little bit for it, especially when an insufferable twat like probable disgusting sex deviant Rick Santorum publicly aligns himself with the “EAT MOR COK” company.

“Hey there’s someone else hating on gay people. I should go align myself with them!”

Now there’s a brave public servant taking a bold stand alongside a homophobic corporation! I bet Rick Santorum would’ve frequented soda fountains in the South that banned blacks during the Civil Rights era if he could have, because he’s just that kind of guy. Also, isn’t it hysterical when a free market conservative tries to aid a corporation being hurt by the forces of the very free market he professes to love? IRONY!

And if all that weren’t enough, the Muppets are now involved. I’ll just let the Taiwanese animation people explain…

And if THAT weren’t enough, Chick-Fil-A has been, as Vince details, creating fake Facebook profiles so fake teenagers can defend them from all the critical comments on their Facebook page.

One final thought: now that Rick Santorum has entered the fray, isn’t about time Dan Savage named some disgusting gay sex act the “Chick-Fil-A”? Also, if I were a gay dude in a relationship I’d think hard about planning a guerrilla gay wedding at a Chick-Fil-A restaurant. BTW, I’m actually licensed to perform marriage ceremonies if any gay couples out there want me to marry them in a Chick-Fil-A restaurant. Just sayin’.

Team Gays. Team Muppets. 4-EVA!


TAGSchick-fil-acontroversiesrick santorum

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