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Someone Stole ‘One Of The Largest Porn Collections’ In All Of Michigan

By / 02.22.13
Suspect Numero Uno.

Earlier this week, it was announced that a heist right out of Goodfellas or Ocean’s 11 had been pulled off at Brussels Airport in Belgium. A team of eight masked men dressed like police drove two vans through the security gate and held the pilot, co-pilot and a guard at gunpoint as they stole approximately $50 million worth of diamonds from a plane that was bound for Zurich, Switzerland. And just like that… *poof*… they were gone. The airport security staff and police officials have called the heist “military-like” in that it was so clean and organized.

Indeed, this diamond heist seemed like a lock for crime of the century, but then two men in Michigan made it look like child’s play. Forget $50 million worth of diamonds — these men stole $6,500 worth of pornography.

A Muskegon man claims “one of the largest porn collections” in the state of Michigan was stolen from his home Tuesday, Feb. 19, police said.

The incident was reported shortly after 4:15 p.m. on Tuesday when two residents of their home in the 1700 block of McIlwraith Street arrived to find their back door was kicked in, a police official said.

The residents discovered the man’s large pornography collection and three flat-screen TVs had been taken from the home, police said.

The owner of the missing pornography told police it was allegedly “one of the largest porn collections” in the state and valued it at $6,500. (Via Michigan Live)

Obviously, these are essentially two different crimes, as the Brussels diamond heist was meticulously planned and executed with incredible precision. Meanwhile, the “Great Michigan Porn Theft of 2013”, as I am calling it, was a crime of desperation and urgency, noted by the kicked in door and time of day.

But still, the question needs to be asked – who the f*ck not only puts a dollar value on a porn collection, but also regards it as one of the biggest in an entire state? That’s just a remarkable devotion to smut. Either way, police are on the lookout for the two suspects and they believe that one or both may look like this:


TAGSCrimeCRIME OF THE CENTURYDIAMONDSMICHIGANPORN

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