Florida Woman Brazenly Steals Wine From A Grocery Store, Sans Pants

Web Culture Editor
04.11.14 5 Comments

A Florida woman strolled right into a Publix grocery store in Ocala, Florida earlier this week, picked up two boxes of wine and then strolled right the hell back out — all while not wearing pants. Somebody get the “Miss Florida” people on the phone — I think we have an early contender for 2014!

From ClickOrlando:

According to police, the woman, who was only wearing a black shirt and slippers, walked into the store and grabbed some wine near the deli.  She then walked to the exit but was confronted by a manager, police said.

The woman, who was listening to music via a tablet she was carrying, began flailing and left the store with the wine, police said.

She was described by police as a black woman in her 30s and about 5 feet 4 inches tall.  She also has a tattoo on her neck.

So not only did she steal wine, pantsless — actually I’m just going to say “take wine without paying,” because stealing implies some sort of discretion — but she did so while drawing even more attention to herself by blasting music in a grocery store?

I feel like not describing the tattoo on this delicate flower’s neck is leaving out a crucial detail to the story, but if I had my way it would say “AIN’T CARE” in Comic Sans, capital letters.

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