Just How Insane is "Battleship" Anyway?

Senior Contributor
08.16.11 5 Comments

It was probably inevitable that Hasbro was going to try and bring other toys it owns to the movies. After all, “Transformers”, God help us, makes more money with every outing; “Dark of the Moon” was so awful we actually got a press release from the Feces Association insisting it was worse than crap, but it made a billion dollars in theaters. Hell, even “G.I. Joe” made money.

That said, “Battleship” is already in the running to be the single tackiest, most insane movie of 2012.

Here’s the plot: the Navy pisses off aliens. Aliens put Hawaii in a dome that screws with communications and radar. Aliens fire explosive pegs at battleships. Battleships respond by…laying out a grid and systematically firing shots at each square.

No, seriously. Did we mention Rihanna is in this as the Least Convincing Naval Officer Ever? Or that behind the scenes, the ships are named after the Beatles? Or that the aliens eat seawater or something?

What’s really sad is that there’s some actual talent behind this inevitable Razzie winner. Peter Berg, the director, has had until this point a fairly respectable career of well-drawn action films. Liam Neeson usually does better when he’s slumming. And usually they don’t spend $200 million on a movie like this.

If you somehow missed it, the trailer is under the jump for your delectation and horror. Let us remind you before you watch this: $200 million went into this.

[ via the sinkers at The Mary Sue ]

Around The Web