‘The Starving Games’ has a new trailer because God is dead.

Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg are back for their Hunger Games parody ‘The Starving Games’ and if I were to incorporate true onomatopoeia in my reaction to this news, the GUHHHHHHHHH would take up six pages.

Set in the most depressing corner of a post-apocalyptic future, our hero Kantmiss Evershot (Maiara Walsh) volunteers to take her manipulative younger sister’s place in the 75th annual “Starving Games.” In doing so, she must leave behind her smoldering just-a-friend Dale (Brant Daugherty) and team up with the geeky baker’s son Peter Malarkey (Cody Allen Christian) in a fight for her life. But wait, there’s more! She could also win an old ham, a coupon for a footlong sub at a six-inch price, and a partially-eaten pickle!

Want to be depressed about life? As of 2009, Aaron Seltzer was living in a $3 million house. This is their SIXTH MOVIE. The God of unfunny dickheads has truly shone his toothless grin upon them.

Oh, Oswald. What have they done to you?

“Timely” References Include:

  • Katniss character “Tebowing.”
  • Gandalf showing up for no reason.
  • Siri jokes.
  • Angry Birds.
  • Avatar.
  • Gangnam Style.
  • The Avengers.

Seriously, Siri and Avatar. Avatar came out in 2009. You’d think they’d be able to keep their references a little more current considering their movie looks like it was shot in a single afternoon.

The Starving Games arrives in select theaters, VOD and Digital Download November 8th, 2013.

If there’s a silver lining in this, it’s that at least this isn’t getting a major release. Oh, and here’s the YouTube comments on this, which really say it all:

Keep in mind, these are YOUTUBE COMMENTS. Time to hang it up, guys, not even racist fifth graders like your movies.