FilmDrunk

The Enlightenment just pissed her pantsuit

The studio has released the first trailer for Resident Evil director Paul WS Anderson’s 3D take on The Three Musketeers, starring Logan Lerman, Ray Stevenson, Matthew McFayden, Christoph Waltz, and… uh… Orlando Bloom.  It opens with the semi-period appropriate steampunk gimp dude you see above and progresses from there.  I think this was my favorite shot:

The Matrix just got rapier!  Some other things to watch for:

  • SPARKS, MOTHERF*CKER!
  • Orlando Bloom twirling what appears to be a butterfly knife at the 55-second mark. Which makes whooshy sword sounds
  • A hand-cranked flamethrower
  • Flying pirate ship
  • And of course, EXPLOSIONS AND FRENCH SLUTS, OOOOOOOH WHA-AH AH-AH!

This summer… from the director of Death Race… YOUR MUSKET BALLS ARE GONNA DROP! HOOGH!

[opens October 14th, HD version available at Apple]

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