By now, we should be used to Braun Strowman’s ridiculous feats of strength. Every day I wake up and thank the universe that we aren’t used to them. Not in any way. First, he flipped an ambulance. Then, he pulled down a lighting rig onto his hapless opponents. Finally, he flipped over a god dang semi truck.
I am happy to report that Braun Strowman’s feats of strength are at it again. Less than 24 hours after getting punched in the head for real by an infuriated Brock Lesnar, Strowman was placed in a Last Man Standing Match against his old nemesis, Kane. The victor would get a spot in February’s Elimination Chamber main event. The loser … would not be standing.
The match was nearly over before it began, thanks to the latest Strowman strength-wackiness. The two men brawled outside, and Strowman was looking to end things as quickly as possible. When Kane got grounded near the commentary station, Strowman got a great idea: he would flip the entire danged apparatus over onto Kane. Hey, guess what: it worked!
After this, the match was ended, since Kane was unable to be a man standing. Strowman will be in the Elimination Chamber, and Kane was, according to Raw’s announcers, taken to “a local medical facility” for difficulty breathing, among other issues.
Braun had just revealed some of his flipping-things secrets to Alexa Bliss before the show, including that sweat makes you stronger. Write that down.
.@BraunStrowman​ has an interesting strategy in helping his partner @AlexaBliss_WWE​ build muscle ahead of this week's #WWEMMC! pic.twitter.com/bDluWqJDAA
— WWE (@WWE) January 30, 2018
Raw general manager Kurt Angle was once again none too pleased about Braun Strowman doing another attempted murder on his show, but his pleas for Strowman to cut him a break, Nell Carter-style, fell on deaf ears. I have a sneaking suspicion that one day, this is all going to end very badly for Kurt.