Welcome to episode eight of season two of the Over/Under of Lucha Underground, our gently reworded Best and Worst report about every episode of the best wrestling show on television. If you’d like to read about season one, you can find all of our previous episode reports on our Lucha Underground tag page. For season two, click here.
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Before We Begin
I need to try to string together some words about Tuesday’s Austin Warfare event at SXSW, and the day that surrounded it. Apologies if I come nowhere close to choosing the right ones. If you want to skip this personal stuff, the show report starts a little ways down.
Lucha Underground is a show about a building. It’s a telenovela about a supernatural wrestling promotion, but it’s centered in and around “The Temple” in Boyle Heights. That building’s more important than the characters inside of it, I think. When you visit, it’s like visiting a lucha libre Disneyland. It looks just like it does on TV. The sign’s on the roof, the gym locker room is exactly the same, the bathrooms are scary and dangerous. It’s a real place. To people like me, it’s become a sacred place. You have to understand that to understand Lucha Underground as a show, and understanding that leads to understanding why they don’t tour and shoot shows everywhere.
I was fortunate enough that the first live event from Lucha Underground happened 15 minutes from my house, in Texas. I like to think I willed it into existence.
@MrBrandonStroud hosting the @LuchaElRey panel at #SXSW2016 pic.twitter.com/4u0Q1MRcmL
— ʀᴢ ᴅᴏᴏᴍ ❌ (@TheRayZombie) March 15, 2016
The day started with me hosting The Creation of Lucha Underground, a panel about what the show is, how it came to be, and why it works. If you can’t tell from the photo, I’m on stage with four of the most intimidating people in the history of my brain:
– Dorian Roldan Peña, Vice President of AAA and (more or less) the real-life Dario Cueto
– Eric Van Wagenen, Lucha Underground showrunner
– Skip Chiasson, head of Skip Films, the crew that makes all the backstage segments (I know, right?)
– some masked guy
But yeah, no, somehow the story of my life involves me sitting at a table with Rey Mysterio Jr., objectively one of the best and most important pro wrestlers ever, lucha libre or otherwise. I managed to not throw up all over myself and collapse off the side of the stage, so I’m counting it a win. I like to write about pro wrestling, you know? It’s sorta my thing. And I got to sit and have an hour-long discussion with four people who routinely do it the most right. That’s an honor I will never, ever forget. Plus, hey, it was a good panel. We talked about cosmic nunchucks.
There was a 20-minute Q&A at the end, and it involved (1) everyone agreeing to bring in a fan who didn’t get in so he could ask a question, and that fan getting his name chanted, and (2) the final question just being a guy getting emotionally choked up because he’s talking to the people who make wrestling happy for him. That’s Lucha Underground. That’s what happens when you love a thing, and it loves you back.
https://twitter.com/MrBrandonStroud/status/709854575595925504
That was followed by a press conference at the beautiful Austin Music Hall. It’s going to be gone soon and replaced by (another goddamn) condo, but for the day, it was the Austin Temple. Part of me hoped this was going to tie into the show and we’d get the reveal that Dario Cueto’s Matanza punishment shed was in central Texas.
The panel for the press conference (as you can probably tell) was Eric Van Wagenen, Ivelisse, Rey Mysterio, Vampiro, Johnny Mundo and Catrina. If you’ve never seen Catrina in person, imagine getting hit by a truck and feeling super happy about it. They answered questions about the episodic nature of the show, the value of playing more ambitious characters than wrestling normally provides, and how great it is to be a part of a pro wrestling-related thing that works to get everyone and everything over without the backstabbing, politics and overlapping ambitions. One of the things I’ve always liked about the show is how I don’t have to project a bunch of magical social bullsh*t onto it … it knows what it is, knows what it can do, and works to keep that happening.
Also, I paid off that Johnny Mundo interview from last week by doing the Predator handshake with him. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
Then, a few hours later, Lucha f*cking Underground ran a show at SXSW. Let me put it to you this way:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BC_tAOmsUD-/?taken-by=mrbrandonstroud
The show starts — starts — with Aero Star vs. Son of Havoc vs. Drago vs. Pentagon Jr. That alone justifies whatever bonkers wait time people had outside the venue. If you’ve never seen Pentagon live, brother, that is the dopest and most over luchador in the world. If you were wondering, his strikes don’t need post-production enhancement. His chops sound like a whip cracking. Also, I don’t want to brag, but I think he became my Dark Master during his entrance. That’s me on the floor, because I want the continued use of both of my arms.
Also on the show:
– Mil Muertes wrestled Fenix, because if you want to put your show’s best foot forward, you give the crowd Mil Muertes vs. Fenix. See also: this week’s episode.
– Vampiro was tempted by the violence and alcohol in Austin, was told to leave the ring by a wormy doctor, and beat up some orderlies. Vampiro really is one of the most important, recognizable faces (and voices) of the company, so I’m glad he was here. I’m also glad he didn’t have to go through another flaming table.
– Taya and Ivelisse had a match that was a pleasant change of pace, and also confirmed how much I love how Whoops Canadian Taya is.
– The main-event, I sh*t you not, was Johnny Mundo, The Dragon Slayer and the Daredevil Werewolf against They Call Him Cage, Prince Puma and Rey Mysterio Jr. We technically got the in-ring debut of Rey Mysterio in Lucha Underground a week and a day before it happens on TV. That’s pretty special. Also special: Jack Evans cut a pre-match promo that was a, like, five minute beat poem about how much he hates Brian Cage. ALSO special: Johnny Mundo renaming Austin “Slamtown.” More on that in a minute, but Slamtown is my new favorite pro wrestling catchphrase.
Like every LU atomicos match I’ve ever seen live, this was bonkers. Not “Aero Star almost kills himself jumping off a balcony” bonkers, but bonkers. At one point the rudos attacked Cage with kendo sticks, then got the house band to play guitar riffs while they played guitar with the sticks. Also, a triple 619. ALSO, Prince Puma is out of his damn gourd. So many alsos.
After the show, Mysterio, Puma and Cage said Lucha would be back, and I hope they’re telling the truth. I know a lot of this reads like LOOK AT THIS COOL THING I GOT TO DO, but … I don’t even know how to explain it. It was a day I never thought I’d actually get. I got to pile into a Temple in my hometown with a bunch of friends and watch my favorite creative wrestling brains — from Eric and folks like Chris DeJoseph to all the amazing people at the El Rey Network — put on a show full of my favorite stars from 1996 to 2016. This happened. I spent most of the time after the show sorta aimlessly wandering down the street, my head lost in the absurd reality that wrestling can be this good, and it can be that way on purpose. By design.
I hope Lucha Underground comes back. I really do. If they don’t, I’m forever f*cking thankful that I was here for the instant they were here.
And now, let’s talk about one of the best Lucha Underground episodes ever.
Over: A Matter Of Life And Death
One thing we know for sure is that Lucha Underground doesn’t introduce characters or plot points without the intention to eventually pay them off. Sometimes you get an Alberto Del Rio or Big Ryck situation where they vanish due to circumstance, but generally they know where they’re going, and how they’re gonna get there.
This week’s opening segment is Catrina confronting Fenix about his championship match with Mil Muertes, calling back to all the creepy teleportation Frenching they shared in season one. This one goes a little deeper, though, and honestly feels like two exes visiting each other after a long absence. You wouldn’t expect that from a confrontation between a character that represents life and a character that represents death, but there’s something pretty magical in a wrestling show having an existential statement on being.
Catrina gets weirdly emotional with Fenix, promising his doom in the hope of absorbing his powers to fuel her immortality — she says he can “bring her back from the dead,” which is cryptic as hell but also assumedly super literal — but tearing up when she kisses him. It’s maybe the most complexly emotional scene Lucha Underground‘s attempted since a man stood outside of a murder shack and told his ninja assassin assistant about a bull murder. Man, I hope you’re watching the show regularly and this isn’t your first Over/Under column.
Over: Unlikely Trios Champions
You know what? I’m not going to use “one of.” This is the best episode of Lucha Underground ever.
To put it another way, the opener is Son of Havoc, Ivelisse and Angelico taking back the Trios Championships from the Disciples of Death, saving their jobs at The Temple. This was the right call for a lot of reasons, such as (1) the Disciples are basically just Putties and honestly not that much of a threat, and (2) this gets the belts back on the top undercard technicos, who only really lost them because Ivelisse got injured. We’re back where we wanted to be, just in time to transition Mil Muertes into something else — more on that in a bit — and reshuffle the deck. Next week adds a ton of new characters and stories, and this is the perfect prologue.
Plus, the Unlikely Trio are awesome. I think they get overshadowed in my brain by the dragons and time-traveling Aztecs and pissed-off ninja skeletons, but they’re three of the easiest-to-get-behind faces in the company. How can you not cheer for Angelico throwing Streets of Rage knee strikes from out of nowhere? How can you not cheer dives in triplicate, or running crucifix buckle bombs into shooting star presses? They’re almost a vacation from complexity at this point. That’s a good thing. Even a one hour show with a dedicated narrative can (and should) have time to diversify.
Over: Sorry, Chavo
Speaking of that, we clean another plate before Aztec Warfare by having Chavo Guerrero get abandoned by The Crew and ass-whomped by Texano. That’s the satisfying end of that story, I think. Cortez Castro’s secret undercover police mission is to get closer to Dario Cueto, right? Slumming it with Chavito ain’t gonna get him there anymore. Maybe he’s got intel on these backstage segments nobody else can see. Wouldn’t that be an amazing wrinkle to that gimmick?
Anyway, Texano outsmarts Chavo in a bullrope match — yes, Chavo, it’s a great idea to remove the slack of the rope when you’re prepping for a frog splash — and wins one for Mexico. The announce team puts him over hard, and Chavo (presumably) sulks back into the darkness.
So. Uh, speaking of darkness …
OVER: Aztec Warfare 2
There are a lot of reasons why this week’s show is the GOAT, but one major reason is that there is TONS of backstage stuff, and they all feel like steps forward. For example:
Next week is Aztec Warfare. Last year’s Aztec Warfare finalists were Johnny Mundo and Prince Puma, so Mundo — now rudo as hell — decides to find Puma backstage and needle him about it. There’s a great dichotomy between Puma hitting the bag like Superman and Mundo just kinda faux-karate hitting it. Mundo drops the term “SLAMTOWN,” as in he’s taking his opponents to Slamtown, and it’s the damn greatest. It’s so impossibly dorky. It’s the rudo equivalent of that Predator handshake. I’M GONNA TAKE YOU TO SLAMTOWN. This is a thing a grown man is saying on a show with zombies that can actually prowres kill you.
Puma gets angry, gives us another Actual Puma Growl, and punches through the bag. We saw that in the season two trailer, but it’s so much better with context. That context is, “Johnny Mundo is the worst person in the world.”
Meanwhile, Rey Mysterio tells El Dragon Azteca Jr. that his training is done, and presents him with a Harry Potter-style envelope with a wax seal that’s an invitation to compete in Aztec Warfare. Dragon Azteca’s like, “are you coming with me,” and Rey is like, “HELL YEAH I AM, LET’S DO TEQUILA SHOTS.” I’m paraphrasing. Then, they do tequila shots. I want to train in a dojo where I get to karate fight Rey Mysterio, do a bunch of tequila shots and watch Famous B commercials on a 1970s television.
So now we’ve established the old — Johnny Mundo and Prince Puma are in Aztec Warfare — and the new, Rey Mysterio and El Dragon Azteca. The stars of Aztec Warfare 1, and the two biggest new stars of season two.
Okay, two of the three.
Ladies and gentlemen, Matanza Cueto.
If you’re new to the column, this Splatterhouse looking motherf*cker is the brother of The Temple’s previous proprietor, Spanish businessman on the lam Dario Cueto. According to Cueto, Matanza’s body houses the spirit of a God, and it all relates to a weird tribal lucha libre pact sealed with dark magic. Bro, I don’t even know. What I do know is that Dario keeps his brother in a cage to keep him from killing folks, and occasionally brings folks TO the cage to be killed. Since the end of season one, Dario has set up a murder shed in the middle of f*ck all and uses his beautiful Asian assistant to lure in hapless idiots to slaughter.
This week, we get our first real look at him. He is MASSIVE, and he debuts by stepping out of the shadows literally dripping with blood. He’s instantly terrifying, and Dario’s bringing him back to the Temple to reclaim it next week.
So how does that relate to what’s happening in the Temple now?
OVER: GRAVER CONSEQUENCES
Fenix vs. Mil Muertes in season one is one of the best wrestling matches I’ve ever seen. The biggest compliment I can give the match on this week’s show is that … damn, it comes close to Grave Consequences.
It’s sort of an Empire Strikes Back situation. It’s the best, but it’s the best because the original set up all the story points and created all the drama. Fenix is the only guy who can beat Mil one-on-one, and it drives Mil crazy. Fenix managed to win the Gift of the Gods, a secondary championship full of medallions that gives the wearer a title shot, and Catrina’s been trying to keep him from cashing it in. Mil is furious that Catrina thinks he’s so weak — keep in mind that we just saw her CRY when she kissed Fenix, and heard her tell him she might’ve made a mistake sticking with Mil — so he responds to Fenix with EXTRA DEADLY EVERYTHING. Mask ripping, face eating, throwing him off things, the works.
This match is that. Fenix and Mil Muertes have an incredible chemistry in the ring, and the sense of urgency they create is unmatched. I haven’t seen any matches that seem as … well, life or death as theirs. They feel like they’re actually trying to end each other, and Fenix manages to come off as David in a Versus Goliath scenario when he’s not really David at all. It’s Goliath vs. Goliath, it’s just a different kind of Goliath. Fenix has his number.
Seek out and watch this match. Download it on iTunes. If you’re new to the show, this will get you into it. If you’re a regular, you lost your f*cking sh*t when Fenix started tearing Mil’s mask. You don’t just let a dude tear your mask up TWICE. This is Superman vs. Doomsday, every epic superhero clash you can imagine, played out with the pathos and bloody texture of the best lucha libre. These two are artists. And, surprise surprise, Fenix reverses a flatliner into a crazing bridging cradle (with the wrists hooked) and wins the Lucha Underground Championship.
After the match, we bring everything together: Catrina is making Fenix enter Aztec Warfare at No. 1 with the championship on the line, and she’s giving Mil the No. 20 entry. You might be thinking, “hey, that sounds a lot like this year’s Royal Rumble,” but keep in mind that this was taped before that. Try to figure out where WWE got the idea.
That means we once again have every story on the show converging into one. Fenix and Mil Muertes are eternal enemies, bookending the match. Opposites. Symmetry. Prince Puma and Johnny Mundo are back, but they’ve changed. Rey Mysterio Jr. is debuting. El Dragon Azteca Jr. is debuting, because it’s his destiny to compete in the Temple, and he brings the war with him. Dario Cueto, Matanza and Black Lotus — who killed El Dragon Azteca, if you’ll remember — are all coming back to reclaim The Temple. Aztec Warfare is ACTUAL WAR, and everything changes.
Also, there’s a really pissed off skeleton lurking around somewhere.
