After months of speculation, staggered announcements, and more than a little hope that WWE would finally drag itself into 2017, the finals of the Mae Young Classic are upon us. Tuesday night in Las Vegas, joshi phenom Kairi Sane goes one on one with the former IFC fighter and Four Horsewoman, MMA Edition stablemate Shayna Baszler.
We all had high hopes going into the tournament. Did it meet those expectations? Ehhh, kind of. Putting all of these women into a narrative of “the best female athletes in the world” is a high bar to set when some are competing in a ring for the very first time, and also Meiko Satomura exists. Some of the more experienced performers quite frankly looked like rank amateurs, leaving more throwaway matches than you would think should exist in such a highly-touted field.
One of the most distracting features of the tournament was the commentary. Lita and Jim Ross exist in a ring-adjacent charisma vacuum, which is impressive given that what you’re listening to (or tuning out, in this case) is a second take.
For example, the first match between Kay Lee Ray and Princesa Sugehit is presented with a video package about how Ray is basically lady Jeff Hardy with her high-flying skills and wanton disregard for her own safety. Instead of playing up how Sugehit’s lucha experience will fair with Ray’s similar style given that both of them prefer going high instead of keeping it on the mat, the commentary is based on Ray trying to keep Sugehit grounded and rely on her knowledge of submissions. That’s logical, yes, for facing someone fond of going to the top rope, but it completely ignores everything Ray is supposed to be about. And it just gets worse and more stilted from there.
That said, I will require a sound clip of JR exclaiming “She’s very aquatic!” during Kairi Sane’s entrance.
Speaking of, this whole tournament is basically the Kairi Sane show. If anything in the MYC lives up to the hype, it’s this petite pirate who loves sailing and elbow-dropping people to death. If we’re talking about can’t-miss matches, every one of hers is in the top ranking. If you only have time to watch one, we suggest her quarterfinal bout with Dakota Kai, aka my actual dream final that could never happen because the brackets just wouldn’t let it. More on that later.
Sane will square off against ex-UFC fighter Shayna Baszler in the actual finals. While it was expected that Sane would sail into the finals (she is, as we’ve learned, very aquatic), Baszler came into the show as a bit of a dark horse. Or, should we say, dark Horsewoman. No? We shouldn’t? Okay, fine.
Baszler’s burgeoning wrestling career has no doubt been bolstered by her friendship with Ronda Rousey, but don’t let that cloud your judgement. That friendship and WWE’s total boner for having Rousey at events would be enough to propel Baszler to the finals, but the Queen of Spades more than holds her own against tourney favourites like Shimmer alums Mercedes Martinez and Mia Yim. Pro tip: here’s where all of that “keeping your opponent grounded with submissions” commentary belongs.
While both women had very different but equally standout paths to the finals, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention these competitors who took the time they had to separate themselves from the pack.
Abbey Laith
If you want an easy illustration of how hard WWE pressed fast-forward on their presentation of women, head back to this 2014 documentary short on Abbey Laith, then known as Kimber Lee. Laith, much like NXT Superstar Ruby Riot, was often pitted against larger, “stronger” male competitors in the dreaded intergender trope of the female wrestler earning her opponent’s respect after they initially disregarded them as a challenge.
Though Laith makes it to the quarterfinals, it’s her opening-round match against physical powerhouse Jazzy Gabert that ends up being the most memorable. While it plays along the same lines of the David and Goliath idea, the match is a demonstration of how those matches should have gone down. Neither Gabert or Laith disrespects or underestimates their opponent, instead understanding that being in the tournament puts them on equal footing regardless of size. Only then does it actually become a test of skill, with Laith eventually using her size and speed to take down Gabert with the inescapable Alligator Clutch.
Xia Li
Despite being taken out in the first round by eventual semi-finalist Mercedes Martinez, we can’t stop thinking about Xia Li’s match. What the champion martial artist showed off against the veteran Martinez is even more impressive when you consider that she’s only been training in WWE for the last nine months, and has us very excited to see more from this Chinese Superstar.
Bianca Belair
Bianca Belair is another competitor who doesn’t come from a wrestling background. Though she still doesn’t look fully comfortable in the ring, her athleticism more than speaks to her potential going forward. She can deadlift like Cesaro, has a mean 450 splash, wears glitter boots, and uses her ponytail as a whip. Again, SHE WHIPS PEOPLE WITH HER HAIR, Y’ALL.
Toni Storm
Toni Storm is yet another preternaturally gorgeous and talented athlete that hails from Australia, because the South Pacific is a literal factory when it comes to producing intensely good looking people who are great at wrestling. The first ever Women’s PROGRESS Champion already has some serious accolades under her belt, and strutted into Full Sail a heavy tournament favourite.
While a lot of the first few rounds seemed like a parade of women who were more outfits than characters, Storm’s wrestling transcended her inexplicably tiny top hat and Too Young To Fall In Love styling. That said, let’s hope going forward WWE can ease up on her “Lady Dolph Ziggler but actually lives up to the hype” persona. She’s got the boots, the Motley Crue gear, the Ziggle Wiggle butt-based taunt despite both of them having middling-to-decent asses. That said, calling Dolph Ziggler the ersatz Toni Storm is highly enjoyable.
Piper Niven
Oh, Piper Niven. She’s beauty and she’s grace, she’ll smash your f*ckin’ face. If I could get away with it, this paragraph would just be about fifty rows of heart emojis, and that would be after having a copy editor take out about fifty more rows of ’em. We fell in love with her as Viper way back during that one somewhat decent run of TNA British Bootcamp hosted by our beloved Rockstar Spud. While her talent speaks for itself, Niven brings with her a refreshing body positivity that’s already inspired female fans across the globe.
Dakota Kai
Last but certainly not least is With Spandex Forever Favourite Dakota Kai. Any longtime readers (and we mean the years and years kind of long time) have seen us stan for Kai and pretty much beg to see her on television on a regular basis. Better known as New Zealand’s own Evie, Kai has been bringing an unparalleled level of athleticism to the Kiwi wrestling scene, as well as overseas in America in Shimmer. She’s already come a long way from being bearhugged into a coma by Nia Jax on NXT. Every match she has in this tournament is great, and man oh man, we can’t wait to see what she’ll do now that she’s signed. Suck it, Brittany.
For those of you who are all caught up, did the Mae Young Classic meet your expectations? Who was your favourite competitor? Let us know in the comments below.
