On this week’s episode of Workaholics, “Fish Fry,” the unthinkable finally happened. Frankly, I was both shocked and disappointed that one of the guys finally broke through Alice’s rock-solid barrier of anger and contempt for her life and everyone in it, but it was always going to need to happen. And it’s not like it happened all for naught or for the sake of a cheap plotline. It happened because it needed to happen for the sake of the most important aspect of this episode – the Fish Fry. Obviously. That’s why the name of the episode was “Fish Fry.” I’m glad we’re clear on that.
But Alice having a momentary, drunken display of weakness with Anders and his tiny penis was of little consequence to the lessons that we once again learned from this incredibly educational program. As we learned last week and from the three seasons prior, Workaholics provides a wealth of knowledge in the form of wonderful new words, and instead of simply telling you what happened on the show that you obviously watched, I’m just going to add these new words and phrases to my limitless Workaholics dictionary/glossary.
Pro-Bullying
It’s the term that refers to the checks and balances of the anti-bullying campaign. At some point, the bullied will become the bullies, and Adam worries that we’ll lose an entire generation of cool kids because of it.
Koi Friends
These are the decorative fish that you can see in the ponds outside of PF Chang’s and other such restaurants, and over time you can develop friendships with them if that’s the kind of thing that you do with your incredibly lonely, sad life. Blake apparently does that, and that’s why he rescued all of his Koi Friends when his local PF Chang’s closed. Hopefully, it will still be opened by PF Chang’s son, former professional tennis player Michael Chang.
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Chlorine Pools
They will totally kill all of your Koi fish friends, like Koi Orbison, Gilly Nelson and Fin Diesel. Don’t blame God or PF Chang’s for your own mistakes.
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Size Queen
It’s a woman who likes her men a very specific way. It doesn’t refer to the size of a man’s brain as much as another part of his anatomy.
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Company Stink
You don’t stick your pen in it, bro. You just don’t. You don’t stick your pimento loaf in it either.
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Girthquake
It’s probably the best name ever conceived for a male stripper/gigolo. Admit it, you’re jealous you didn’t think of it and you’ve already changed your Twitter handle to it.
Gigoloing
It’s when an old man pays you $5 to poop in a pizza box.
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Walking Hair
It’s what Blake has going for him and he’s embraced it. Ladies see him for his hair instead of his LEGO man of a penis. It’s basically the antonym of a “walking, talking penis.”
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Bagel Friends
They’re basically the same as Koi Friends, except they’re bagels and therefore… edible.
Jim and Dwight Bullshit
It’s when someone in your office deep fried everything on your desk. It’s especially awesome when it happens to Montez, though, because he’s a huge dick and he shouldn’t have thrown out all of Blake’s Koi friends, even though they probably would have caused people to die if they were eaten. Or they would have barfed at the very least.
