Drew Michael is a Brooklyn-based comedian who’s featured this month on Comedy Central’s The Half Hour. Last week he released a comedy album, Funny to Death, that’s available for download on iTunes. Drew was nice enough to take a few minutes out of his busy schedule recently to answer a few questions from us.
1. You walk into a bar. What do you order from the bartender?
An egress.
2. Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter and/or Instagram?
There is this cute barista that I like following. What’s Twitter and Instagram?
3. What’s currently waiting for you on your DVR?
It’s offensive that you think I even have one.
4. It’s your last meal — what are you going out with?
A selfie of me and my 12 closest friends.
5. What websites do you visit on a regular basis?
UPROXX AND MCDONALDS DOT COM!!!
6. What’s the most frequently played song on your mobile device?
It’s not a song, it’s just a recording of me cat-calling myself.
7. If you could go back and give your 18-year-old self one piece of advice, what would it be?
End it now.
8. What’s the last thing you Googled?
“If Lee Harvey Oswald really killed Kennedy, why would he deny it?”
9. Dogs or cats?
I’ll eat either.
10. Best concert of your life was…?
When I perfectly rapped the first two verses to Notorious Thugs in my shower.
11. What book are you most likely to give as a gift?
The Unabomber Manifesto.
12. What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
Spared me the truth.
13. South Park or Family Guy?
South Park, but the episode about Family Guy.
14. You have an entire day to do whatever you want. What would you do?
I have that today and I’m spending it answering these questions.
15. What movie can you not resist watching if it’s on?
Why would anything be “on”?
16. The sports team or teams you’re most passionate about?
Whichever team has the least number of Malaysian players.
17. Where did you eat the best meal of your life?
If you measure it in terms of disparity between expectations and outcome, the best meal I’ve ever had was on a British Airways flight.
18. The last movie you saw in a theater?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.
19. Who was your first celebrity crush?
I couldn’t tell because the TV was scrambled, but some blue chick on Cinemax.
20. What would you cook if Nic Cage was coming to your house for dinner?
Depends on his answer to #9.
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