Now that Mike Lindell has appeared on his show, Jimmy Kimmel can go back to doing what he does best: taunting Ted Cruz. It’s replaced baseball as America’s national pastime. Over the past few months, he’s called the Texas senator a “lyin’ little bitch,” “scumbag,” and a “snake on a plane” (he didn’t come up with Fat Wolverine, though). During Thursday’s Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kimmel added a new nickname to the collection.
“Joe Biden gave his first address before a joint session of Congress [on Wednesday]. It was a hopeful speech in which he spoke about turning peril into prosperity. He said, ‘Life can knock us down, but in America, we never stay down. In America, we always get up.’ Except for Ted Cruz, who was sound asleep during a lot of this,” Kimmel said. “Look at him. Dreaming of Cancun no doubt. Lyin’ Ted just turned into Snoozin’ Cruz.” That’ll do.
Over on The Late Show, host Stephen Colbert also took a shot at Cruz. “Republicans enjoyed the speech a little less. Take Texas senator and divorced Porky Pig, Ted Cruz,” he said (also a good nickname), adding, “Cruz was roundly mocked online and Bernie Sanders drew a penis on his forehead. To explain his behavior, Cruz tweeted the video of him falling asleep with the hashtag #BoringButRadical. So he admits he’s witnessing radical historic change, but that makes him sleepy?” To be fair, Colbert can relate to Cruz. “Now that Joe Biden’s president, I find it much easier to sleep too,” he said.
You can watch the Kimmel monologue above, and the Colbert clip below.