Someone who surely possesses a sparkling personality uploaded a 46-minute long bootleg edit of Star Wars: The Last Jedi to Pirate Bay on Sunday, calling it “The Last Jedi: De-Feminized Fanedit (aka The Chauvinist Cut).” Yes, he — let’s go ahead and assume “he” — removed “Girlz Powah and other silly stuff.” So… he didn’t like it?
And what was changed in this totally alpha male, non-cuck-for-sure edit of Last Jedi? Spoilers ahead.
Gone is Laura Dern’s character (Vice Admiral Holdo). Poe Dameron comes up with her kamikaze idea instead, and he dies. Before he dies, he has a much easier time with General Leia, who “never scolds, questions nor demotes Poe” for disobeying orders and getting people killed. One of those people killed was bomber pilot Paige Tico (played by Vietnamese actress Veronica Ngo). The fan edit maker cut her scene entirely and refers to her only as “China girl” and calls the character’s sister Rose Tico “Asian chick,” in case you were wondering if this nonsense was also going to be racist. (Of course it is.)
Speaking of Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), her scenes were drastically cut down; her and Finn’s Canto Bight scenes are completely omitted. The uploader says, “Asian chick speaks less, doesn’t bully Finn, Finn doesn’t try to escape, she is never formally introduced. She is just there and occasionally smiles at Finn or screams ‘Finn!’. She has no sister. Serves her right for all the heinous stuff she did.” (Uh… what heinous stuff?)
In this version, Leia dies and it’s Kylo who kills her, because apparently you aren’t a real alpha male unless you kill your mom. Lovely. The uploader also says there’s no “superpowered” Rey. When her and Kylo fight Snoke’s guards, Kylo kills almost all of them while “Rey struggles with a single one.” Captain Phasma is also much weaker; she’s “finished after the first blow by Finn” because “women are naturally weaker than men.” (Even Brienne of frickin’ Tarth, dude?)
The uploader also has complaints about Luke. Among other changes, “Luke is not a semi-force-ghost and is smashed by the first laser cannon shot.”
News of the edit’s existence prompted an appropriate reaction from Star Wars: The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson, which was then echoed by stars Mark Hamill and John Boyega:
https://twitter.com/rianjohnson/status/953107873487208448
Agreed. But let me add
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣- mh https://t.co/H3jacep5sU— Mark Hamill (@MarkHamill) January 16, 2018
Great points. Hope it’s okay to make a final point…
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/YnXFrjW47r— John Boyega (@JohnBoyega) January 16, 2018
Good to know we're on the same page, son. https://t.co/5hA1pd7CPM
— Mark Hamill (@MarkHamill) January 16, 2018
They weren’t the only ones having a laugh. Jokes circulated around Twitter. Some people envisioned their own version of a fan edit:
I’m fighting back against Disney’s anti-Crumb prejudice with a fan edit of Last Jedi that cuts to a Salacious Crumb reaction shot every 12 seconds
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) January 16, 2018
https://twitter.com/obrienjohnjack/status/953369563705438208
https://twitter.com/bully_thelsb/status/953138834816028672
Others wondered about the type of person who would be this Mad Online™.
The MRAs who edited all the "feminism" out of LAST JEDI have reached a new and previously unknown level of Mad Online™. We might actually be seeing Mad Online™ Nirvana here. https://t.co/j6Lxu7yDDU
— Wampler™ (@ScottWamplerRIP) January 15, 2018
If you remove all the women from The Last Jedi, then the First Order would win. I guess that makes sense considering the sort of person who would edit The Last Jedi to remove all the women.
— Kieran (@KingImpulse) January 15, 2018
a culture of men afraid of women edit a movie so they don't have to see them succeeding but the rest of the world are the triggered ones pic.twitter.com/jMOB6ML2ZH
— Sen. Lemon Gogurt ugarles.bsky.social (@Ugarles) January 16, 2018
I'm trying to imagine the sort of man who'd take comfort from the ability to edit women out of existence or heroic narratives, and it's making me a little nauseous. https://t.co/kfqT5g9kWy
— David Gaider (@davidgaider) January 15, 2018
My impression of all the people showing up in my notifications defending the MRA cut of Last Jedi (via @swear_trek as usual) pic.twitter.com/QwDFI9ZTis
— Darryl Mott (@Abstruse) January 16, 2018
man, whenever I tweet positive shit about THE LAST JEDI, my mentions turn into Diaper Watch 2018
— priscilla page (@BBW_BFF) January 17, 2018
Let's be honest, the MRA neckbeard that made an edit of The Last Jedi without all the women was just trying to mirror his own womanless life.
— Ronhausen Swanson (@RevRonster) January 16, 2018
Others raised important questions about which scenes may have been cut:
https://twitter.com/themeganpurdy/status/952962283067539456
And others just let important works of art sum up their response.
https://twitter.com/hvymetta/status/953136221475061761
(Via SyFy, Pedestrian TV, and Reddit)