Some Genius Put Noses On The New Ninja Turtles, So Consider Your Childhood Un-Raped

It seems like every time a new iteration of the Ninja Turtles comes out it immediately gets accused of non-consensual intercourse with everyone’s dumb childhood. It doesn’t help that the latest version was produced by Michael Bay and is being directed by the guy from Battle: Los Angeles, neither of whom are exactly darlings of the fanboy community. Yet oddly, the biggest complaint about the latest trailer, from people who complain about such things (ie, no one I ever want to hang out with), was that the new turtles lacked their familiar snout bulges (see above). Well, as a Reddit user proved, changing it back was an easy “fix.”

There, does your dumb childhood feel better now? Thank God. I wouldn’t want Paramount’s nine-figure investment to tarnish a 35-year-old’s memory of something he loved playing with when he was eleven. Next thing you know, they’re going to be redesigning your dick.