It seemed like something that had to be satire and yet somehow isn’t. No, we’re not talking about literally every news story in the past year. We’re talking about this op-ed in Forbes, advocating for shutting down libraries and replacing them with Amazon digital services. This would cost every person who uses them money (and leave rural people like me completely without options, probably), but Long Island University Post economics professor Mourdoukoutas seems to view that as a bonus, as it would “enhanc[e] the value of [Amazon’s] stock.”
Amazon Should Replace Local Libraries to Save Taxpayers Money via @forbes https://t.co/weDGYAqjTS
— Panos Mourdoukoutas (@PMourdoukoutas) July 21, 2018
So that was published in Forbes, not The Onion. Dude is really calling for an end to libraries, later taking to twitter to claim he pays an additional $495 per year in property taxes towards library funding alone, and then he adds that “most people” don’t use the library enough to justify that tax. Except “most people” don’t own a $1.5 million dollar house, which another Twitter user pointed out would have to be the value of his home to be paying $495 per year in library taxes where he lives. It’s worth noting he lives in a county where a $1.5 million dollar house is about 300% more expensive than the median home price.
Twitter worked swiftly this weekend, coming to the defense of libraries. I’m sure some might argue this helps Forbes, as it seems they decided it was a good business strategy to promote one of the dumbest ideas imaginable in order to maybe get people to click on the article to see just how stupid it is. That may conjure ad revenue in the short term, but now the first thing I’ll think of when I think “Forbes” will be “stump dumb provocateurs” and that seems like a bad long-term strategy for them. (Full disclosure: my mom and grandma were librarians and I’ve spent a sizable percentage of my life in libraries, so if you want to besmirch a library I might fight you with knives. Forbes, I will fight you with knives.)
So, without further ado or threats of knife violence, here are some of our favorite tweets in response to this anti-library sentiment:
Cost to individually buy the six books I have on hold this week: $70
Amount the Altadena Library Special Parcel Tax cost me this week: 75¢
Someone help me budget this, I'm not the chair of an economics department.
— Gwen C. Katz (@gwenckatz) July 21, 2018
Amazon Should Replace the Police Force That Patrols the Crime-Ridden Streets of Dystopian Detroit with Reanimated Cyborgs Retaining Dim Traumatic Memories of Their Former Human State to Save Taxpayers Money pic.twitter.com/HFkfHIRcPR
— Eric Allen Hatch (@ericallenhatch) July 22, 2018
I demand that at least one student of his turn in a paper quoting nothing but Amazon Prime shows. It is your duty, undergrads.
— Gwen C. Katz (@gwenckatz) July 22, 2018
This is the only proper response to that terrible "Amazon should take over public libraries" piece in Forbes: pic.twitter.com/Jl7NJZ5ZRI
— Maris Kreizman (@mariskreizman) July 22, 2018
I get that this is more of an intellectual exercise than a full-on suggestion, but it's the kind of exercise that's never supposed to be an actual in-the-air argument, like "You know, if you kill half the people, you could save 50% on groceries."
Your argument is Thanos.— Scott Woods (@scottwoodssays) July 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/t_mcallister/status/1021175316759416834
https://twitter.com/amandamull/status/1021164959617699845
The number of times I’ve been yelling “but that’s what taxes are FOR” during the last several years is ridiculous
— Rawnaeris (@rawnaeris) July 22, 2018
Libraries aren't just museums for books, people. Real life people come there for information on services to try to often save their lives. Info on doctors, domestic violence shelters, help to get jobs. Stop funding everything that rich folk want and leave libraries the fuck alone
— jamey hatley (@jameyhatley) July 22, 2018
some people can't afford a computer+printer but they can afford a few cents to print out a resume/job application at the library
— tim (@FlamingButtWind) July 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/lyndztanica/status/1020717908131917825
https://twitter.com/Meganfangirl/status/1020863410521739264
I’m a librarian and this is actually the worst fucking idea ever.
Libraries by Amazon would eliminate the most important function libraries have—as a socialized daytime service to cash-poor and working class people left behind by digital advances. https://t.co/YqxLgAZQm6
— cyrée jarelle (@cyreejarelle) July 22, 2018
Idiots have been trying to push this evil agenda that libraries should be privatized because the radical idea of a place that asks nothing from people while providing a service, a real public good, a place that treats people as people, and not consumers, is so bizarre to them https://t.co/iwErXxl4ho
— Zito (@_Zeets) July 22, 2018
Fun facts about librarians: a Master’s degree is required to be a librarian. Median income for someone w a MS is just under $70k. For librarians it’s around $58k. Librarians work hard to and go into academic debt because they believe in their communities and intellectual freedom. https://t.co/YA2Lg0kRZE
— Stoned Adulterer (@ElaDarling) July 22, 2018
Economists just studied the @torontolibrary system. It created over $1 billion in economic impact, generating $5.63 of impact for every $1 spent, and a 463% ROI.
Seems like a good use of tax dollars to me.
— Physically Distancing Serra (@gimblerocket) July 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/daveanthony/status/1021166269083529216
So, yes, we all read your article. It was poorly written, vaguely sourced, and beneath your standing as an academic. I do look forward to your next piece, "Krispy Kreme Should Replace Food Stamps," however.
— Tod Goldberg (@todgoldberg) July 21, 2018
The fact that a professor is advocating replacing libraries with Amazon for the sake of pageviews and retweets is morally and intellectually bankrupt. Please tell your university librarian that their students would be better off using Amazon for research instead of their library.
— Catless Cat Lady (@chipgoines) July 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/EricaJoy/status/1021068964145770496
Amazon is a corporation more interested in serving itself than a community. It cannot replace a library. The digital divide is a real thing. Just say you hate the poor, elderly and disabled and go.
— Ann Elise (@booksandsinging) July 22, 2018
Or: Amazon could FUND local libraries by paying their fucking taxes. https://t.co/fNT336PnrB
— Tin House (@Tin_House) July 21, 2018
https://twitter.com/max_read/status/1021216193024323585
in counterpoint, Governments Should Nationalize Amazon to Save Taxpayer Money https://t.co/J1EGRZ6Gx7
— inverted vibe curve: burgertown has fallen (@PatBlanchfield) July 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/RinChupeco/status/1021051140241178625
https://twitter.com/mem_somerville/status/1020873455628144640
Do you know how much you are disappointing Mr. Rogers right now?
— DamagedNotion (@Damagednotion) July 23, 2018
library twitter stays ready
— Astead (@AsteadWH) July 23, 2018
You come for the libraries, you best come correct.
— Tod Goldberg (@todgoldberg) July 23, 2018