Your Sarcastic Guide To The Wonder Woman Casting Complaints

Yesterday, DC burned down a puppy rescue before going on a shotgun safari in an orphanage. Or so you’d think, from the casting of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman in the likely-to-be-awkwardly-titled Batman Vs. Superman. Here are the complaints about her casting… and why a number of them are, well, pretty dumb.

She’s A Total Unknown!

You mean like Christopher Reeve, as Superman? His big career defining moment before being cast in that movie was destroying a row of lights in college. Or Hugh Jackman, unknown outside of Australia before he replaced Dougray Scott as Wolverine? Or Chris Hemsworth, an Australian soap opera actor until he became Thor? Hell, Henry Cavill was a British TV actor, and he did a great job as Superman.

Realistically, there’s a better track record of unknowns playing superheroes than movie stars. Consider that movies starring “bankable” stars tend to movies like Catwoman and Steel. By this logic, the best superhero movie is the one with the most stars, meaning Batman And Robin takes the crown.

Yeah. No.

A Model Can’t Be Wonder Woman!

Lynda Carter, Miss World USA of 1972, would like to have a word with you.

She Doesn’t Have The Physicality!

First of all, one assumes that she’ll be hitting the gym to build muscle mass. Secondly, she was a sports trainer in the Israeli Army. So basically she can beat up you, me, our mutual friends, and probably that guy who keeps calling himself a karateka down by the strip mall just on her basic training. She can probably handle stage-punching Ben Affleck.

By Physicality I Meant Boobs!

Oh shut up. Do you also want to be a big baby about Jennifer Lawrence’s hair? Back, back to the MRA subreddit with you! Don’t make me get the taser!

I Wanted Them To Cast Someone Else!

Who? Gina Carano is essentially Cynthia Rothrock with better agents; she’s great in Haywire, but she’s not winning Oscars anytime soon. Jamie Alexander will be Sif until she dies or the Marvel Cinematic Universe does. And Hollywood, as we’ve noted before, has gone through literally every other actress with any notable name recognition. It was an unknown, or nothing.

Can’t You Let Me Complain On the Internet?

Hey, it’s my job to think this hard about this stuff. What’s your excuse?