This Crazy Story About Strippers, Hooters, And Florida Has Taken Over Twitter

Senior Pop Culture Editor
10.28.15
Spring-Breakers-pic

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Strap in, folks. This story is Spring Breakers meets Empire, with extra insanity. Last night, a woman named Aziah, who goes by @_zolarmoon on Twitter, told an epic 150-tweet tale about Hooters, strippers, murder, and life itself.

The whole thing has, mercifully, been put on Storify and screencapped, because it’s too long to recap; Aziah’s first since-deleted tweet reads, “Okay listen up. This story long. So I met this white bitch at Hooters. I was her waitress. She came in with this old ass big ass black dude.” From there, we get “I put that sh*t right in my bra” and “the fiancé right next to them wit a gun in her lap” and “I got a collect call 4 days later from a jail in Las Vegas.”

Other memorable lines:

-“So when they finished he gave her $100. I said ’jess, u sellin puss for $100???? P*ssy is worth thousands. U trippin’”

-“the club had HELLA rules which I’m not use to (Ima full nude typa bitch)”

-“I looked at her like she wasn’t speaking English & i said ’im not gone beat yo ass rn bcus u already in bad shape.”

Twitter has already started casting the movie.

Is the story real? All Aziah has said is, “That wasn’t even the story in full accuracy OR the craziest one I have,” but even if she made it up, Twitter has been having fun with it (despite the dark subject matter).

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