Recovery Plan: New-look Cavs getting over LeBron

By: 08.19.10  •  67 Comments

The getting-dumped process is going pretty much according to plan for the Cleveland Cavaliers. First there was the emotionally irrational behavior (burning LeBron jerseys the night of “The Decision”), then the period of pretending like you didn’t want to be with your significant other in the first place (Dan Gilbert’s open letter), then the optimism when you remember there are other fish in the sea (only the Cavs couldn’t get any of them to take the bait), and finally the cosmetic payback work — new wardrobe, losing weight, better car, etc. — to make the one who dumped you feel like ass the next time you meet. Hence the Cavs’ new uniforms that were unveiled yesterday to a mixed response. Not many of us in the Dime office were feeling ’em (a little too Hickory High-ish), but some like the simplicity and subtlety … (No joke, one of our guys said with a straight face that Cleveland’s best uniforms of all-time were the black paint-splash ones from the Shawn Kemp/Terrell Brandon era.) … Exactly how many games are the Cavs going to win in their new threads this season? Anderson Varejao injured his ankle yesterday in a Brazil/Spain friendly, and while it turned out to only be minor, it might have hurt Cleveland fans more as a reminder that AV is their third-best player … Go ahead and scratch Cleveland off the list of teams with which Carmelo Anthony would be willing to play for long-term. According to new reports, ‘Melo would be open to signing an extension with the Rockets or Nets should he be traded there, adding to his original favorites New York and Orlando … ‘Melo has never played with a big man as good as Yao Ming, and if Houston could keep Luis Scola rather than give him up in a ‘Melo trade, that’s a MONSTER front line trio. Too bad Kevin Martin almost certainly would have to be involved in a Denver/Houston swap, because a ‘Melo/K-Mart2 tandem on the wing would score more than Drake at a VH1 casting call … If Rudy Fernandez were closer in talent to, say, Rudy Gay, his summer saga would be a much bigger story. Making it very clear that he wasn’t happy in Portland last season, and then not getting traded like he wanted, Fernandez is reportedly ready to play hardball: no-showing training camp and refusing to play until the Blazers either trade him or let him go back to Spain. Any chance this all stems back to Rudy feeling he got screwed in the ’09 dunk contest? Because he’s only got himself and Pau Gasol to blame for that one. And maybe the memory of Birdman Andersen … We’re out like Rudy …

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