Following Florida State's first shutout loss in 233 games, FSU offensive coordinator Jeff Bowden resigned today, effective at the end of the season. And we all know what "resigned" means. It means, "Daddy no longer loves you."
I actually have a lot of sympathy for Jeff. I tried to follow in my father's footsteps, but it didn't work out. I didn't have the right mindset. He was all about being a feared international jewel thief, while my passion has always been fighting crime. And if you don't think there's going to be a tense faceoff between us that settles this once and for all, you're clearly ignorant of how Hollywood blockbusters work.
I'm sorry, I lied about all that. The truth is my dad fired me from Burger King. Whatever, I wasn't about to stop calling the Big Fish Sandwhich the Whaler.