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OH. MY. GOD.

DUNGY TAPPED TO FIX NFL ‘PLAYER ISSUES’

By / 03.25.09

New NFLPA executive director DeMaurice Smith has asked Tony Dungy to serve as a liason between the players and the league, proving once again that you can always get a job if you have a strong work ethic and hate gays.

Dungy confirmed to ESPN senior NFL analyst Chris Mortensen that he has been approached by Smith and is interested in the position. Dungy said that Smith informed him that he would be in touch shortly to better define the job.

“It’s certainly something that’s close to my heart, having been associated with the NFL for so long,” Dungy said.

Dungy’s role would seem to be involved in dealing with “player issues,” which seems to be somewhere between Gabe Kaplan’s character in Welcome Back Kotter and Ice T’s role in Law & Order, Special Victims Unit. Tony Dungy will be the beacon of light that has all 1,600 or so NFL players abstaining from sex before marriage, going to church, and driving only moderately extravagant vehicles. But what about whores? Even a devout Christian like Dungy needs a juicy whore once in a while. Of course he probably refers to it as “Bowling Night.” Which is great, because actual bowling blows.


TOPICS#NFL
TAGSdon't call it a comebackTONY DUNGY

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