At spring training for the Chicago Cubs, the games being played aren’t exciting enough (my assumption, but correct me if I’m wrong), so the team is turning to entertainment from a very special crazy celebrity who has recently been all over television for the batsh-t insane stuff coming out of his mouth. Yes, this problem has been solved with a little dash of Charlie Sheen. Careful, though. Too much Charlie Sheen, however, and you spoil the recipe. Also, your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.
The Chicago Cubs have an idea of what it’s like to live in a fish bowl, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the Charlie Sheen drama is playing to a captivated audience in the Cubs’ clubhouse.
“The clubhouse stops and turns up the TV when he’s speaking,” Cubs outfielder Reed Johnson said Wednesday on “The Waddle & Silvy Show” on ESPN 1000. “Everybody enjoys watching everybody else go crazy, I guess, for some reason.”
“It’s definitely honest, and I think a lot of people I guess kind of translate that as a little insane at the same time, which is probably I guess you would probably agree is pretty accurate in his case right now.”
Right now, calling Sheen “a little insane” is probably the front-runner Understatement of the Century Award. It’s like calling Adam Lambert “a little gay” or Alabama “a little gross.” Congratulations, Reed!
I think Sheen could definitely get a job as the motivation coach for the Cubs this season. What else does he have to do right now? It’s great, too, because Sheen is so dedicating to WINNING, something the Cubs haven’t figured out. I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true. Just don’t take any vials of Charlie Sheen he gives you.
As a final note, if you’re not following Sheen on Twitter, you’re definitely missing out. EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT WHY NOT YOU, YOU BIG MELVIN