KSK Mock Draft: The Meme Stops Here
Meek Mill Feat. Lou Williams "I Want It All" Music Video

Is Tiger’s Sexy Love Boat For Sale?

By 04.01.11

Yesterday, celebrity gossip morons across the Internet “reported” that golfer and orgy enthusiast Tiger Woods was selling his massive yacht, “Privacy”, for $25 million. Tiger’s smoking hot ex-wife, Elin Nordegren didn’t want to keep the yacht as part of her ridiculous divorce settlement because Privacy costs more than $2 million a year to maintain, with a permanent staff of 13 people having to constantly stain guard and Febreze. I’m guessing she also didn’t want the constant reminder of all of the Shoney’s hostesses and meth-addled porn actresses, of whose poopdecks Tiger swabbed on the Privacy. Also, Tiger doesn’t need to keep the 155-foot yacht because he just bought a new one. Man, I hope he overcomes all of these problems someday.

While Woods bought the ship for $20 million, he believes it appreciated in value because it’s been well taken care of.

But Palm Beach Gardens mega-yacht builder John Staluppi doubts the former world’s best player will get the asking price.

“The market on big yachts has gone down,” said Staluppi, who’s currently building a 200-footer. “Banks aren’t financing and the economy is off. It’s a buyer’s market.

“Unless he sells to someone who wants to brag that he’s got Tiger’s yacht, he’ll get about $20 million.” (Via Page 2 Live)

If I wanted something that Tiger used to have so I could brag to my friends, it would probably be his smoking hot ex-wife, her new home and the absurd fortune she got from the divorce. Especially considering the fact that trusted Tweeter Darren Rovell claimed yesterday that the sale ain’t happening.

Either way, I think instead of selling it, Tiger should host haunted sex tours during which he could tell people where he banged which college coed in which position and then – LOOK OUT! – it’s the attorney for a stripper with a semi-Blasian baby! Quick, everyone cast him away with this magical pile of cash before he haunts us for the next year or so. Whew, that was a close one!


Join The Discussion


Join the discussion. or Register